Michelle
by hobbleit
Summary: Sequel to If I Fell. Dean is now looking after his daughter with the help of Sam but something is going to happen that will tear his happy new existence apart.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Here is the sequel to If I Fell. It picks up about a month after the end of the previous story. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural; I just like to play**

**Chapter One**

It was harder than he thought it was going to be. He had a tiny little person to look after now so it wasn't like he could go off on a hunt anymore. No, he had to be responsible and responsibility meant finding a place to live and settling down to give his daughter the best possible life he could.

He did miss his old life though. He missed going on hunts with Sam; he missed the travelling in the Impala and he missed the freedom.

But most of all he missed Emma. It had been nearly a year since Dean had last seen her; before she had found out about his life and freaked, before she had broken his heart and sold her soul, before their daughter was born. Michelle was nearly three months old now and looking more and more like Emma every day. Her hair was dark; just like her mother's and the more hair that grew, the curlier it became. Her eyes were dark and beautiful; they looked mysterious and thoughtful. She was the most beautiful little girl he had ever seen.

And yet his heart broke every time he looked into her eyes. Dean was constantly reminded of Emma and the time they had spent together. They had met when he and Sam had been on a werewolf hunt and they had both fallen down a hole. Several weeks in hospital and many visits later they had started a relationship. That had ended when she had discovered he was a hunter; she had refused to believe in the supernatural until she had been attacked by her ex-boyfriend, who also happened to be a werewolf. She had been infected but instead of telling Dean she summoned a crossroads demon and sold her soul for Michelle. Dean didn't even know until after she had been born.

Now Michelle was nearly a month old and she and Dean lived in a small apartment. Sam and Joanne; Sam's fiancé, were still hunting but they still kept in touch; Sam phoned almost every day since the pair had left a couple of weeks ago. Life had pretty much settled down for everyone.

But Dean still missed his own life. And looking after a little baby was very hard. From what he could remember when Sam was a month old, he hadn't been this much work. Or maybe it was his four year old mind distorting things. Or maybe his parents had just been better at this than he was. He couldn't decide which one it was; his sleep deprived mind couldn't think of anything more than feeding and changing. She seemed to cry all the time; he couldn't seem to get her to stop. He was beginning to feel like a failure as a father.

She was crying right now, at four in the morning. He had tried feeding her, burping her and changing her but she still cried. He was feeling very frustrated; like he couldn't do anything right.

"Sweetheart," he said softly to his wailing daughter. "Are you gonna go to sleep for daddy? Come on; just for a little while." She kept crying. "What do you want?" He asked her tiredly, "I don't know what you want." Michelle didn't stop crying; in fact her wails become louder and more frantic. Holding Michelle in his arms he picked up the phone and dialled. He was at a loss as what to do.

"Hello?" A very sleepy sounding Sam came down the line.

"Sam?" Dean replied.

"Dean, do you know what time it is?"

"It's four in the morning," Dean replied; sounding slightly sarcastic.

"Yeah it is, so what do you want?" Sam couldn't keep the irritation out of his voice.

"I can't do this."

"Can't do what?"

"I can't do this; live a normal life; get a job, look after Shelly."

"What's brought this on?"

"I can't be dad; I suck at it," he told his brother.

"You don't suck at it. You've always been good with kids."

"Well obviously I'm not good with kids; if I was then I would be able to stop her crying. But she won't," he said with frustration in his voice.

"Dean; she can probably feel your fear and that's why she's always crying. You just gotta calm down."

"How can I calm down? I really can't do this," he said with the added emphasis on really. "I can't be responsible for her."

"You we're always responsible for me," Sam told his brother which made Dean stop in his tracks. "You looked after me and I turned out okay."

"Well apart from the fact that you're my dorky brother," Dean said with a smile on his face. Sam simply rolled his eyes.

"You just gotta have a little confidence."

"You're right," Dean sighed. "I guess I'm just panicking 'cos I'm on my own here."

"Joanne and I could swing by."

"You don't have to."

"But I want to. I haven't seen my niece in a couple of weeks. Last time I saw her she was tiny."

"She still is tiny, except for her voice."

"We'll be there tomorrow night; I promise."

"Sam, you really don't have to…" Dean started but Sam cut him off.

"It's already been decided, okay?"

"But you're on a hunt," Dean protested.

"The hunt can wait. I want to see Shelly again so no matter how much you protest we're coming so shut up and get ready for tomorrow."

"Fine," Dean gave in. "I'd better go; see if I can get Shelly to settle down. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye Dean," Sam said before hanging up. He smiled to himself. He'd actually wanted an excuse to see Dean again; life hunting just wasn't as appealing without his brother, even with Joanne by his side. Besides; he really just wanted to see Michelle again. Maybe Dean had the right idea when he'd stopped hunting; Sam had been thinking that a lot lately. He wanted to settle down with Joanne; get married and maybe have a couple of kids of their own. Watching Dean with Michelle made that thought all the more appealing.

"Who was that?" Joanne asked; she was still half asleep and slightly confused.

"It was Dean," Sam replied. "He's freaking out again. I told him we'd drop by tomorrow."

"Great," she sleepily replied. "A whole day we'll spend travelling."

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Michelle finally calmed down shortly after Dean had got off the phone to Sam. He breathed a huge sigh of relief as her breathing evened out and her eyes closed. Now he could just sit there and appreciate how amazing she actually was. She was still so small; she had wrapped her hand around his finger and it looked so tiny compared to him. He gently placed her into her crib and she didn't stir when he let her go.

He stood and watched her sleep for a while before he switched off the light and quietly closed the door behind him. He sat down in the living room and looked at the photograph of Emma resting on the table. He picked it up and stared at her. She was beautiful; her long, dark and curly hair hung loosely around her shoulders and the light in her eyes matched her smile. Dean's heart ached a little. He wished every day that he could have saved her; or protected her from her psycho werewolf ex who cruelly ended her life. He wished she could be there to see Michelle grow up instead of her soul being in hell; unable to rest for all of eternity.

That's what made Dean hurt the most; the fact she was in hell right now and there was nothing he could do to save her. He understood her reasons for doing what she did but it didn't take the sting off. He was still powerless to help her in any way.

He must have fallen asleep because when he woke up it was light outside and Shelly was still fast asleep. His neck ached from sleeping on the sofa but at least he didn't feel as exhausted as he had done over the last month. Standing up; he made his way to Shelly's room. She was still fast asleep; her tiny hand curled into a fist. She looked so peaceful. Dean didn't want to wake her up.

"Come on sweetie," he said gently as he picked her up. She stirred slightly but didn't start crying. "Time for breakfast."

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Sam and Joanne arrived early in the evening.

"Hey," Joanne greeted Dean as she gave him a quick hug. "How're you doing?"

"Apart from the lack of sleep I'm doin' okay," he told her.

"Well, that's what we're here for," she smiled. "Now where's my future niece?" She asked.

"She's in her crib; I just got her to sleep."

"I'm just gonna go and check on her," she smiled and headed towards Dean's room leaving Sam and Dean alone.

"How are you really?" Sam asked.

"I'm great," Dean said with a grin but it didn't make his eyes. Sam could see that not everything was fine.

"Then what was the phone call about?" He replied; calling Dean's bluff. "Not everything was great last night.

"Momentary lapse, I'm fine really," Dean tried to brush him off but Sam wouldn't have any of it.

"Dean, you can admit when you're struggling. You pretty much did that last night. That's why we're here; to help you."

Dean really wanted to say that he was fine on his own and that he didn't need any help but he knew that was a lie and there was no was that Sam would be convinced in the slightest.

"You look exhausted."

"So would you if you hadn't had a full night's sleep in a month."

"Then get some. Joanne and I will take care of things and you rest. You'll feel better for it."

"I don't want to be a burden."

"You're not being a burden. Believe it or not this is what family is for. You don't have to carry all this by yourself; you are allowed to ask for help."

"I know."

"I don't think you do. You seem determined to do this by yourself and you're wearing yourself into the ground. Listen, Joanne and I are gonna stick around for as long as you need us. Now go and get some sleep."

"Okay," Dean gave in and gave his brother a resigned smile.

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It was almost midnight when Dean woke up. He pushed the covers of his bed off his body and clambered out of bed before heading to the living room. He found Sam sitting on the sofa cradling Shelly.

"How is she?" Dean asked as he sat down next to them.

"She's okay; she was fussing a little earlier but she's calmed down now."

"How long has she been out?"

"Not long, 'bout 30 minutes or so. How are you feeling?"

"Better now I've slept."

"She looks like Emma doesn't she?" Sam observed; staring at her sleeping form.

"Yeah; I know. I can see more of Emma in her everyday," he said; Sam noticed the hint of sadness in Dean's voice. Sam knew that Dean had loved Emma, even if he had never said it and her death had hit him hard. Seeing Michelle had to hurt him.

"You miss her."

"I always missed her. There were so many things that I wanted to say to her and I'm never gonna have the chance to do that."

"I know how you feel. It's the exact same way I felt when Jess died. You're second guessing everything that you did; thinking of ways that you could've saved her. I did that too and you know what you said?"

"That it was killing you."

"That's right, and if you keep doing it then it'll kill you too. You have more to live for; you have your daughter to look after."

"I know and I totally get what you're saying but it's hard."

"Then you just gotta focus on the more important things; like bringing up you're daughter. I think that's why you're finding it so difficult and I think Michelle senses it too. You just gotta let the pain go."

"You're right. Sam; there's something that I need to do."

"What do you need to do?"

"I need to say goodbye."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

He hadn't gone to the funeral; couldn't find the time, he had spent the first week after Michelle had been born running around and looking after her so he had never made it. Actually; that was the excuse he had given. In fact the reason he hadn't gone to Emma's funeral was because he couldn't face it. It would have been too hard. Looking down at the small headstone; the only reminder of her existence, he realised it had been a huge mistake not to go. He should have said goodbye then.

Snow covered her grave; it was winter and bitterly cold. It felt weird being back here after all this time. Dean hadn't been to this town since Shelly had been born and that was only for a few hours. It looked exactly the same as all those months ago when he had spent some of the happiest days of his life with an amazing woman. Now the town seemed empty and cold. He didn't feel like he belonged any longer. It was alien. He didn't want to be there. He didn't want Shelly to be there. Dean had wrapped Shelly up so he could take her to visit her mother's grave. He held her close to his chest as he wiped the snow away from the gravestone.

"Hi Emma," Dean felt stupid talking to a headstone; it wasn't like she could actually reply, but he still continued. "Sorry I haven't been here sooner but I've been a little busy. Actually that's not true; I've been avoiding visiting because it's too hard. You really hurt me; not just with what you said to me but because you didn't ask me for help. You never even tried to talk to me about what happened, did you think that little of me? How did you think I would react? Did you think that I would hate you? That I would kill you? Is that why you never told me?" He could feel the anger that he had tried so hard to bury rising up to the surface.

He paused to let the anger subside and he thought about what he had just said. Would he have tried to kill her? Usually such matters were black and white; if it was a werewolf then it would have to be killed. But could he have done that to Emma. Would he have looked her in the eye when he shot her in the heart? He'd never know now.

"I don't know if I would have killed you. I don't know if I could have done that but you never even gave me the chance to react to what had happened, you just took off and dealt with this on your own. Maybe I could've done something for you. I don't know what I could've done but it would've been easier than you dying alone.

"I'm sorry," he told her and he really meant it. His voice shook as he spoke and tears began to fill his eyes. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I'm sorry that you ever met me and that I ruined your life. I wish I could change things so that you could meet your daughter and get to see her grow up. I'm sorry," he repeated and the tears started to fall down his cheeks. He could feel his heart breaking all over again with the pain of not being able to save her.

He stopped speaking when he felt someone come up behind him. Visibly tensing; he prepared for an attack but it never came. After a few seconds he heard a soft crying coming from the person. He slowly turned around and saw a small woman; no more than 5 feet tall, about 50 years old. He guessed that she must be Emma's mother. He smiled gently as he greeted her.

"You must be Mrs. Potts," he said to her as he took a step towards her. She nodded in acknowledgement.

"Who are you?" She asked; her voice filled with sadness.

"My name is Dean."

"How did you know Emma?"

"We went out for a little while," he replied. "I met her about a year ago."

"Who is the baby?" Michelle asked; staring at the small child in Dean's arms.

"This is our daughter," he said; looking at Michelle.

"She never told me she was pregnant."

"I didn't know until after she died. She called me and asked me to meet her but she never came. A nurse from the hospital met me and told me everything. She wrote me a letter to explain why she did things the way she did. She named her after you."

"I didn't know," Emma's mother sobbed. "Why didn't she tell me?"

"I don't know," Dean replied; his voice soft. "Let's go somewhere a bit warmer and talk about this. I don't want to keep her out in the cold for too long," Michelle nodded and allowed herself to be led away by Dean.

He took her to a small café where they sat at a table and Dean tried to explain everything that had happened. He told her that he and Emma and gone out for a couple of months but they had broken up. He also told her that he had received a call from her asking to meet but when he did she had already died and that's when he had found out he had a daughter. Michelle stayed quiet throughout; staring into her cup of hot coffee as Dean spoke. When he finished she looked up.

"I can't believe she never told me any of this. I didn't even know she had died until the hospital told me. They never even said she was pregnant, just that she died from complications from surgery."

Dean felt his heart break a little when she said that. He knew the truth; it hadn't been from childbirth or surgery but from a deal made with a demon. Again; for the hundredth time in the last month; he wished they had never met because if they had never met then if she had made a deal it would have been for ten years. Not the nine months she had got just because she knew Dean. The Crossroads Demon had been vindictively cruel when it had offered that deal. It would have know she was desperate to save her own life but also that she would be more desperate to save the life of her unborn child.

"I am so sorry, I truly am," Dean told her as he gripped his mug tight. The hot mug burned his hands but he didn't let go.

"Why did you come?" Michelle asked. There was no bitterness or anger in her voice; she just wanted to know.

"Because my brother said I needed closure and he was right. Ever since I last saw her I've been carrying around all this anger and I needed to come here and let it all go. Besides; Shelly needs to know about her mom."

"You'll tell her?"

"When she's older I'll tell her all about Emma and what an amazing person she was. I know what it's like to grow up without a mother and my dad rarely ever talked about my mom but I'm not gonna do that. She's gonna know just how much Emma loved her."

"Thank you," Michelle smiled and Dean could feel all the pain and anger disappear. He felt himself begin to forgive Emma. "She's beautiful."

"She looks like Emma," Dean smiled; feeling immensely proud of his daughter. "She's the most beautiful little girl in the world."

"Can I hold her?"

"Sure," Dean said as he stood up and unfastened Shelly from her pushchair. He gently handed her to Michelle who cradled her in her arms.

"Emma looked exactly the same when she was a baby. I can't believe how alike they are."

"I can. I think she's gonna be exactly like Emma. I hope she's gonna grow up to be exactly like Emma."

"Can I keep in touch with the two of you? I'd really like to get to know her."

"I'd like that."

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He returned home late the next night to find Sam sitting up reading a book. Sam put the book down on the table and looked up at his brother. He still looked tired but there was a peaceful air about him. He no longer seemed angry.

"How was the trip?" He asked; but Dean stopped him.

"I just gotta put Shelly down; I won't be a minute," he told his brother before heading to the bedroom. A few moments later he returned and sat down on the sofa next to Sam. "Where's Joanne?"

"She's in bed."

"Oh, okay," Dean replied. "I guess that spare room comes in handy."

Sam smiled in acknowledgement of that comment. Dean had already painted the second bedroom in preparation for when Shelly was old enough to be in a room of her own. It was a little creepy sleeping in a pink room. "So how was the trip?"

"The trip went fine. You were right; I did need to let it all go." Dean stared down at his hands as they rested in his lap and he began to fidget slightly. Just because he'd let go of all of the bad feelings towards Emma didn't mean that he was any more comfortable with sharing his feelings.

"So it was a good thing?"

"Yeah it was. I met Emma's mom while I was there. We had a chat about things. It felt good to finally speak to someone about Emma. Someone who knew the real her. We spent hourse talking about her; she told me about what she was like as a child. It was good."

"What did she say about Shelly?"

"She loved her," Dean explained. "She wants to see her again."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I guess it's a good idea; she should get to know her grandmother. It'll be good for her. I just gotta figure out what I'm gonna do now."

"What do you mean?" Sam was a little confused. He thought Dean had sorted everything out. He had a home and a job; which was all he really needed. Most of all he had his family.

"I don't know what to do," Dean admitted; his voice quiet, he was almost embarrassed to be admitting it. "I know I need to be a good dad to her but I don't know if I can. It just all feels like its too much sometimes."

"Dean, you're gonna be a great dad; I already told you that a million times. You just need to have a little confidence. Joanne and I will stay for as long as you need us."

"Thanks Sam," Dean smiled. "I guess I just need some sleep. It's been a very long day."

"I understand. Just go to bed and I'll get up to check on Shelly."

Dean headed to bed and Sam did shortly after; taking the baby monitor with him in case Shelly woke. He snuggled up against Joanne.

"Dean home?" She asked him; enjoying the warmth of his body.

"Yeah, he just got back."

"How is he?"

"I think he's gonna be just fine."

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She wasn't going to be safe for long. Yes, she was well protected by two accomplished hunters but even they couldn't protect her forever. The minute they took their eyes off her then she would be hers. It was all planned; it had been from the moment her mother had sold her soul. The child had lived because of a sacrifice by her mother; otherwise the child would have been killed the moment she had been born. Add to the fact that she was the child of a Winchester and that made her very special indeed. She was vital to her plans. The time was fast approaching and they all needed to be prepared.

She needed Shelly and she needed her soon.


	3. Chapter 3

**Next chapter time and bad things are going to start to happen now. I make no apolgies for the end, you should expect things like that from me ny now.**

**Chapter Three**

Things settled down a little bit after Dean returned from his trip to visit Emma's grave. Michelle definitely seemed to calm down a little and life became easier. Sam and Joanne were still there; which Dean was thankful for, it was far easier to cope when you had people around to help.

Sam and Joanne had taken the time out to plan their wedding. They had been engaged since before Shelly was born but they hadn't taken the time to consider when they were actually going to tie the knot. Now they had slowed things down and taken time out from hunting, they actually had time to sit down and think things through. This, Dean observed; included a lot of yelling about cutlery and what colour the table clothes should be. Dean was secretly glad he had never considered marriage. If that is what it all degenerated into then he would stay away from it altogether.

It had all stemmed from because Joanne wanted a big wedding. She wanted the big dress and the church and the flowers. She wanted her parents to watch her marry; for her father to walk her down the aisle. Sam, on the other hand, didn't really want any of that. Well, he did really; in some idealised fantasy where their lives weren't complicated and dangerous and so full of peril that they might die at any moment. Besides; it's not as though he had a whole family to invite. Most of his family were dead, he only really had Dean and Bobby left so he argued against a large wedding until finally Joanne had relented. They would have a small and intimate wedding with close friends and family there.

That didn't stop the arguing though. Now they simply yelled about every single small detail. This morning they had woken Shelly with their shouting.

"Hey," Dean said sharply. "Could you please not argue quite so loud, you're scaring Shelly," he cradled the small child in his arms and tried to calm her down. "Its okay sweetie, it's only Uncle Sammy and Auntie Joanne fighting. God help the rest of their married lives together." Shelly stopped crying and gave him a look as if he was crazy. "At least you stopped crying," Dean smiled at his daughter.

Dean left the kitchen where Sam and Joanne were sitting and sat down on the sofa. He was followed by Sam who sat down next to him.

"Sorry about the yelling," he apologised to his brother. "We didn't mean to wake Shelly."

"The two of you seem to be yelling a lot lately."

"It's just preparing for this wedding is a lot more work than I thought it would be."

"You argue more now you're getting married than before you got engaged."

"Hey, you try organising everything and not let the stress get to you."

"Just don't let it get to Shelly. She doesn't need any of this."

"I know and we'll try to keep it down in the future."

"You'd better."

"Dean, there's something I wanna ask you," Sam said to his brother.

"Sure, what is it?"

"Not here," he replied. "Tonight, we can go out and then we can talk."

"This sounds very ominous."

"It isn't, I promise," Sam told him.

"What about Shelly?" Dean asked; feeling slightly anxious. He'd never left his daughter alone before.

"She'll be fine with Joanne. Don't worry about it. We'll go out for a couple of hours and we'll talk."

"Fine but I still don't know why we can't talk here."

"All will be revealed," Sam grinned mischievously which made Dean feel even more nervous.

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Dean stared nervously at his phone for the tenth time since he and Sam had arrived at the bar.

"You keep looking at that phone and I'm gonna take it off you," Sam commented as he placed two bottles of beer on the table.

"But what if Joanne tries to call because there's something wrong but I don't hear the phone?"

"Dean, having a child has really turned you into a girl; you know that?" Dean simply glared at him. "Just put the phone in your pocket and try to have a good time. When was the last time you actually went out to have a little fun?"

"I have fun," he protested. "Just drink your beer and tell me why we're here."

"I wanted to say thanks."

"Why? It's me that should be thanking you. I don't know what I would have done if you and Joanne hadn't been around to help out a lot."

"Thanks," Sam smiled at his brother. "But I wanted to say thank you for everything really. You've always looked out for me; you're the best brother anyone could ever ask for."

"And you call me a girl," Dean grinned as he rolled his eyes at what Sam was saying to him. He'd never admit it but it made him feel good to hear his brother saying these things to him.

"Just stop talking and listen for once," Sam told him and Dean snapped his mouth shut. "I just wanted to say that you mean a lot to me and I really appreciate everything that you have done for me and I really just wanted to ask you…" Sam stopped and paused.

"Are you gonna finish that sentence or are you just gonna stare at me?"

"I just wanted to ask you if you'd be my best man," Sam finally said to his brother.

"Wow," Dean replied; feeling overwhelmed and very honoured to be asked.

"What d'ya think?"

"I think that I'd be honoured to be your best man," Dean smiled and raised his bottle of beer. "To you and Joanne," he toasted.

"To you and Michelle," Sam said back before he noticed Dean grinning to himself. "You're already thinking up embarrassing stories about me to tell aren't you?"

"Hell yeah," Dean laughed and took another sip of beer. "It wouldn't be a wedding without those. Also; just so you know, I've already started planning the most debauched bachelor party known to man."

"Great," Sam didn't even try to sound enthusiastic.

"Anyway, I'm gonna go and call Joanne to make sure Shelly's okay."

"What happened to not calling to check up on her?"

"Shut up I just need to know how she is," Dean retorted as he stood up and walked outside to the alley behind the bar and dialled Joanne's number on his phone.

"She's fine, Dean," came the reply down the phone. She had obviously been expecting his call.

"How'd you know it was me?"

"I've been waiting for your call all night. I'm actually surprised you didn't call sooner."

"Is she okay?"

"She's fine. I fed her, I bathed her and now she is fast asleep in her crib. You don't need to worry; I have it all sorted."

"Thanks."

"Don't worry about it; just enjoy your evening or I'll have to kick you ass," she told him with a laugh.

"Well, if you're gonna threaten me like that," Dean laughed back. "I'll see you later."

"Have fun Dean and don't worry; I have everything covered," Joanne said as she hung up the phone. Leaving it lying on the table, she made her way to check on Michelle. She quietly opened the door to Dean's bedroom and silently made her way across the room until she stopped in front of the crib.

Michelle was sleeping peacefully; she looked just like an angel lying there with her fingers curled up in her mouth. Joanne reached down and gently stroked her cheek; she never wanted to take her eyes off her, just to gaze at her forever.

Then there was a bang. Joanne jumped up in fear; wondering what it could be. She made her way over to the door and closed it so the room was shrouded in darkness. She prayed this would give her time to plan her next move. Cursing herself for leaving the phone in the other room so she couldn't call Sam; she tried to think of something else.

She gazed around the room; in what limited light was provided and tried to search for a weapon she could use. It was Dean's room after all.

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"How's Shelly?" Sam asked upon Dean's return.

"She's fine," he replied. "Joanne just put her down."

"That's good, have another beer."

"You've managed to twist my arm," Dean grinned as he took a swig of the cold, golden liquid.

As the night progressed Dean began to relax a lot more and began to enjoy the evening.

"I've missed this," Sam told him; he was more than a little drunk by this time. "I've missed goin' out an' havin' a drink with my brother."

"But you got Joanne now, you can have more fun with her," Dean said with a grin and a glint in his eye. Sam knew exactly what he was talking about.

"I love Joanne," he slurred as he spoke. "She's so great. She's pretty and smart and she totally gets me."

"And she's not against the hunting which is always a plus," Dean continued for him.

"And she can hunt. I haven't been so happy since Jessica. I can't wait to marry her."

"Okay, I think we'd better get you home," Dean said as he grabbed Sam by the arms. "You've had a little bit too much to drink. Let's get you some coffee."

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Joanne didn't want to admit it but she was scared. She had rooted around Dean's room until she had found a baseball bat in the closet and she clutched it tight. She wouldn't be afraid anymore. She would go out there; fight this thing like the good hunter she was and then call Sam and tell him to get his ass back here.

She opened the door a crack and peered out. She couldn't see anything so she quietly stepped out of the shadows. She couldn't see it but she could feel that something was there; watching and waiting for her to slip up. She swallowed hard and prepared to fight.

She never saw it coming. She couldn't stop it. She could only stand in terror and watch at the horror that was about to unfold.

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Several cups of coffee later Sam and Dean were heading home, a little more sober than they had been earlier. At least Sam had stopped being so soppy and romantic.

Dean just wanted to go home and see Michelle; he'd missed her so much in the few hours he had been out. He didn't admit this to Sam; he'd think he was going soft in his old age.

"How're you feeling?" He asked his swaying brother.

"I feel sick," Sam replied; looking very queasy.

"Damn it Sammy, you're not gonna last long on your bachelor party are you?" Dean laughed and grabbed his brother to stop him from falling on his arse. "Although it would make it easier you tie you naked to a tree,"

"No Dean, don't do that," Sam whined. "I don't want to do that."

"Don't worry Sammy; I was just messing with ya. I promise I will keep it totally respectable," Dean told him but even in his inebriated state Sam didn't believe him.

"You promise?"

"I promise. Now let's hurry up and get back because you are heavy."

"Am not," Sam protested.

"Sure you're not," Dean said sarcastically.

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Dean stared in horror at the sight that greeted him once they returned home. There were police cars everywhere flashing their blue lights. Dean could see Sam immediately sober up at the sight of what was unfolding before them. They both ran up to the entrance of the building only to find themselves stopped by a cop.

"What's going on?" Dean demanded to know.

"There has been an incident."

"Which floor? What happened?"

"I can't disclose that information at this time," the cop repeated robotically; like he had said it hundreds of times before.

"But my daughter is in that building. I need to see if my daughter's okay."

"Dean!" He heard a voice come from behind him. It was Sam.

"What is it?" He asked as he headed over to his brother and one of his neighbours.

"I think Joanne's in trouble. Your neighbour said she heard a woman screaming," Sam sounded panicked; he was barely holding it together at the thought of losing Joanne. Dean was barely holding it together.

"I need to find out what's going on," he said and went back to the cop. Before he had a chance to speak he overheard another cop.

"It's no good, she didn't make it. Her wounds were too severe. We need to get her out of here."

"Who's dead?" Dean asked. "Is it Joanne?"

"I can't tell you."

"Please tell me. Which apartment was it?"

The cop sighed and gave in. "It was 2B," He confirmed and Dean turned deathly pale.

"Did you find a little girl; she'd only be two months old."

"I'm sorry sir but there were no babies in the apartment."

"Oh God," Dean groaned as he felt his legs give out and he collapsed to the floor. Sam rushed over to his brother.

"Dean what is it? What's wrong?"

"Sammy, Joanne's dead and someone had Shelly."

Sam could only stare in horror at what his brother had just told him. His entire world had just come crashing down around him.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Mwah ha ha, after the last cliffhanger I left you all hanging a little longer than I should have (due to me working until 10pm on Sunday). Well it's better late than never so here's the next chapter**

**Chapter Four**

Sam was in shock. He couldn't quite register that the body being wheeled out on a gurney was Joanne; the woman he loved. It was just like Jess all over again. He had gone away and someone he loved had died. How could he have let it happen again? Why hadn't he been there to save her? What was he going to do now? His entire life had been shattered once again only this time he didn't have the strength of his brother to rely on. Dean had his own problems to deal with now. Sam gazed over and looked at his brother who was going crazy with worry. His daughter had just been kidnapped and he wasn't dealing with it very well. Dean noticed Sam staring at him and stopped dead. Gazing into his little brother's sad eyes, he understood.

Dean walked over to Sam and sat down next to him. He didn't speak, he didn't have to. Everything he needed to say was written on his face; in his eyes and Sam could see that. They just sat in silence; each of them grieving for what they had lost until they were approached by the cops wanting to ask questions.

Sam answered all their questions as best as he could. He told him that he had been on a night out with his brother and that Joanne was babysitting Michelle. He told them that Dean had talked to her earlier that night ad everything had seemed fine then. The cops left him to go and talk to Dean but he just sat there; staring at the apartment building like it was now the enemy. He desperately wanted to go inside; to see the place where Joanne had been killed. He wanted to find out who killed her so he could make them suffer.

"You shouldn't be here asking questions," Dean raged at the two cops attempting to question him. "You should be out there looking for my daughter." He really wanted them to leave so he could get to work and find his daughter himself. He didn't trust the cops.

"I'm sorry sir but these questions are important. You were the last person to speak to Miss Byron before she died. What did you talk about?"

"I just called to check on Michelle. I wanted to make sure she was okay. We talked, she told me she was fine and that I should enjoy the rest of my night out," Dean said with agitation and irritation in his voice. This guy was really beginning to get on his last nerve. "I said goodbye, hung up and went back inside the bar. I had a few drinks with my brother before we went to get some coffee and then we came home to this.

"Now you tell me what the hell you are gonna do about it, because so far you have done nothing," the anger rose in Dean's voice. "So you either get off your ass and actually do your job; which is finding my daughter or you can get the hell away from me." The cop took a step back; seeing the anger in Dean's eyes.

"We'll start looking right away," the cop said and moved away from Dean as quickly as he could; afraid of what Dean would do.

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Sam stood and waited until he was sure no-one was looking at him before he made his move. When he was sure the coast was clear, he sneaked around to the back of the apartment building and began his own investigation. He needed to know what had happened. He knew it couldn't have been natural and therefore the cops would be no help. He needed to know what it was that killed Joanne.

He climbed up the fire escape until he reached the second floor, before cracking the window open and climbing inside the building. Two minutes later he was stood in front of his home; the place where Joanne had died. But it was no longer his home. Once again he no longer had the luxury of a place to call home.

There was police tape around the wide open front door, taunting him; reminding him what a failure he was, about how he couldn't save yet another person that he loved. Pushing back the tears, he ducked under the tape and entered the apartment.

Nothing seemed unusual, except for the blood. Nothing was out of place, everything was where it was the last time he had been there but no everything had changed. He could see blood, Joanne's blood; coating the floor where she had died. It must have been painful. He wondered how long it took for her to die. Was it quick? Was it slow? Did whatever that killed her prolong the agony or was it so quick that she didn't have time to realise what was going on?

He noticed the baseball bat on the floor and he realised that Joanne knew there was something in the apartment out to get her. She knew something wanted to kill her. Sam was finding it difficult to breathe, but he tried to push his feelings of grief behind as he investigated. He tried to treat it like any ordinary case.

Sam made his way into Dean's room, where Shelly had been and he walked over to the now empty crib. His heart broke for Dean; his daughter meant the world to him and now she was gone. He searched the room thoroughly; trying to find any clue about what might have happened while they had been out. It wasn't obviously noticeable but he found it eventually. There was sulphur in the room.

"Son of a bitch," Sam hissed under his breath. A demon had been into their home and murdered the woman he loved. For the second time. Sam struggled to control his emotions; he wanted to find the bastard that had done this and make it suffer.

"What are you doing here?" A cop asked from behind him. "This is a sealed crime scene."

"Sorry," Sam managed to say; his voice quiet and soft. "I'll go now," he turned around and walked past the cop without another word.

Dean was still standing outside the apartment building when Sam made his way back outside. He took a moment to look at his older brother. He looked lost; he was staring at the ground like it held the answer to all of his problems. Sam could see that Dean was on the verge of tears, but he knew that he would never let them fall. Not while anyone was looking anyway. Sam took a deep breath and buried his feelings deep inside of him. He was going to need to be like Dean on this if he was going to hunt down the demon who had killed Joanne. He needed to be strong.

"I know what took Michelle and killed Joanne," he said as he approached his brother. Dean looked up in surprise.

"What?"

"The cops can't help. It was a demon that did this?"

"A demon?" Dean repeated; his brain not able to comprehend what Sam was saying.

"Yeah, I went into the apartment," he deliberately avoided calling it home because it no longer was. It would never be home again. "And I found sulphur next to Michelle's crib," Sam told him.

"Why should I be surprised?" Dean asked; the pain evident in his voice. "It's always a damned demon. Even when I stop hunting, try to live a normal life and give my daughter the best possible chance they still manage to screw everything up," Dean's voice started to rise, the anger boiling up inside of him.

"We shouldn't talk about this here," Sam said quietly to his brother; his hand resting on his arm, trying to calm his brother down. "Let's go to a motel and figure some things out."

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Dean sat down on the bed the minute he entered the motel room and rested his head in the palm of his hands. He had been so furious at the thought of a demon stealing Shelly that he had wanted to go and kill every single demon out there on the drive over. Now he had crashed and the grief had overcome him. He was finding it harder and harder to cope now; all he wanted to do was lie in the bed and cry. He couldn't take it anymore. He felt a tear slip down his cheek but he didn't wipe it away. He felt like he deserved the pain, because after all if he'd been there then Shelly would never have been kidnapped. If he'd been there he would have been able to fight the damned demon, send it back to hell and then he'd be with her right now.

"Are you okay?" He heard Sam ask. He wanted to look up and look Sam in the eye but he couldn't even manage that. If he hadn't gone out then Joanne wouldn't be dead either. This was all his fault.

"I'm fine," he muttered, still staring at the ground. Sam knew he wasn't; he could hear the shakiness in his voice.

"No you're not," he told him. "You're blaming yourself for what happened when really you should be concentrating on the thing that did it in the first place."

"I know," Dean said quietly, now completely unable to keep his emotions in control. Sam sat down on the bed next to his brother and rested his hand on his shoulder. He heard Dean give a large sob and it broke his heart. Sam had to push his feelings down so he didn't started crying too.

"You need to pull it together so we can find her. So we can hunt down this demon and give it what it deserves."

"I don't know if I can. And I don't know how you can be so calm about this. You're acting like a robot."

"I need to do this. I need to stay strong so I can find this demon."

"I know," Dean said to him. "I just don't know how you can bury your feelings like this. Joanne just died and Shelly's gone," his voice shook; he was crying again. He just wanted Shelly back. He'd do anything to get Shelly back.

"I was thinking that we should head up to Bobby's in the morning and then we can start hunting."

"Yeah, that sounds like a good plan," Dean replied quietly.

"You need to get some rest now," Sam instructed and stood up as he pushed his big brother down onto the bed. Dean wiped his eyes of the tears and closed them. His breathing soon evened out and he was asleep.

Sam couldn't sleep though. He didn't think he could ever sleep again; not without Joanne next to him. No, he thought; he couldn't let himself think like that. He couldn't let his emotions get in the way; there was too much at stake now. There would be plenty of time for grieving afterwards, once this was over but not until then. Until then he needed to be like this.

Dean was right, he was a robot.

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Shelly whimpered quietly before she started her full scale wailing. She was too young to understand what was going on; she didn't know where she was or who she was with. In time she would calm down. She wouldn't even remember who Dean was. By the time she grew up; she would think of her as her only parent.

Dean was no good for Shelly anyway. He would let her down, break her heart but she never would. Shelly would grow up with her. She would look after her, make sure the little girl grew up right.

Do what Dean certainly couldn't do.

"There, there, little one," she said as she picked up Michelle and held her close. "Everything's going to be okay. It'll all be fine. I'm here now and I'm going to make sure that everything is going to be all right.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry about the delay in chapters. I'm having a little bit of a problem with writer's blkock and it's taken me far too long to write a chapter. Luckily, I now have ideas and I'm off work next week and I'll get some more written then**

**Chapter Five**

Dean could feel her pain wash over him and he knew he couldn't stop it. He could hear her screams, her anguish. He wanted to call out to her, wanted to help her in some way but he couldn't. She was just too far away.

He woke up with a jolt, sweat pouring down his face; mingling with the tears he had shed. These dreams were becoming more and more frequent since Michelle had been taken a week ago. It was getting to the point where he didn't want to sleep anymore. He just wanted to be free from the nightmares. They hurt that much.

Sam didn't seem to be sleeping either. Dean could see the guilt about what had happened to Joanne was eating away at him; just like it had done with Jess but he wouldn't talk about it. He was obsessed with trying to hunt down whatever killed Joanne and took Michelle and if he was perfectly honest, it really scared Dean. He remembered what Sam was like after Jess died and it was just like that. He refused to show his feelings, he wasn't eating or sleeping and he spent every day sitting in front of Bobby's books searching desperately for answers.

Dean threw the covers back and stood up. He found Sam at the table, once again surrounded by books. He really shouldn't have been surprised to see that picture; it was the one he had woken up to every day this week. He sat down in the chair opposite Sam and picked up one of the books, idly flicking through it.

"Found anything yet?" He asked.

"Not yet," Sam replied, not looking up from the page he was staring at.

"You need to take a break," Dean told him but Sam shrugged him off.

"I'll take a break soon."

"No, you need to take a break now," Dean insisted. "You need to eat and get some sleep."

"I don't have time for that," Sam said as he closed the book he was staring at and threw it back onto the table. Instead of heeding Dean's advice, he picked up another book and opened that one. Dean picked the book up and threw across the room; it hit the wall with a thud. "What did you do that for?"

"Because you can't keep goin' on like this."

"I need to find out what killed Joanne."

"And WE will, but we won't be able to do that if you keep goin' on the way you are. You're gonna crash and that won't be god for either of us. So you're gonna stop this obsessive researching and you're gonna get some rest."

"Fine," Sam huffed quietly but he still complied with Dean. He stood up and made his way out of the room.

He was soon replaced by Bobby. "Sam still researchin'?" he asked.

"He was until I told him to get some rest," Dean rested his elbows on the table and rubbed his face with his palms.

"And what about you?"

"Me? I'm fine," Dean lied.

"Don' lie to me. You're far from fine."

"Seriously, you don't need to worry about me."

"Dean, I know you're worried about Michelle. An' you're worried 'bout Sam."

"I can handle it."

"You're gonna burn yoursel' out. Yeh think Sammy's obsessed but you ain't that far behind him."

"I need to find her," Dean said in a small voice; trying desperately to stop the tears from falling down his cheeks. He didn't want Bobby to see him cry.

"I know you do but you're headin' the same way as Sam. If yeh don' rest then you're not gonna be much use are ya?"

"I rest," Dean protested feebly.

"Yeah, for 'about an hour before the nightmares start. You need to rest."

"I know," Dean sighed in resignation. "I just keep thinking about her." He paused before standing up. "I'm gonna check on Sam."

"Get some sleep while you're at it," Bobby instructed and Dean smiled a little. He really appreciated everything Bobby did for them.

"Yeah, yeah," Dean said to him as he made his way out of the room. Heading outside he found Sam sitting on the step; lost in his thoughts. Dean sat down next to him. "We'll find out who did this, you do know that?" His voice was soft but full of determination.

Sam sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "I know," he quietly replied. "But it should never have happened in the first place."

"We couldn't have known what was gonna happen," Dean told him, trying to convince himself as well that he believed that were true. He knew they shouldn't have gone out that night; he just knew it. "We didn't know a demon was gonna come."

"We should've," Sam said, still in his quiet voice; which freaked Dean out a little. He actually just wished that his little brother would scream and cry like most other grieving people would do but Sam was eerily calm. Dean could see he was on the verge of a breakdown but for some unknown reason he was holding it in. "We hunt demons for a living, we should've known that something was gonna come eventually. We weren't prepared and look what happened. Joanne died."

"Don't you think I know that," Dean said, the anger starting to boil up inside of him. He was angry at Sam but most of all he was angry at himself. He was angry that he had let this happen and now he was taking it out on Sam. He just wanted his brother to show the slightest bit of emotion that he had been lacking over the last week. "Don't you think I don't know that I could've done more? That maybe I should've stayed home that night? That if I had then maybe my daughter wouldn't have gone missing? I think that all the time; it's all that goes through my mind. Over and over again in a god-damned loop and I can't stop thinking it because it's my fault she got taken in the first place," Dean was in full rant mode now and he couldn't seem to stop himself.

"And I see you," he continued, "and you're acting like nothing has happened, like this is an ordinary hunt where we find the demon and send its ugly ass back to hell but it isn't an ordinary hunt. You're acting exactly like you did when Jessica died, you don't sleep, you're barely eating and you're so damned obsessed with hunting this damn thing down that it's gonna end up killin' you but still you continue on like you are. And I hate to see you like this, I hate to watch you self destruct and I know that there's nothing I can do to stop you but I just wish you would."

Sam could only stare at Dean's breakdown. He knew that Dean was struggling to cope with Michelle's disappearance but he had no idea just how bad it was. He hadn't broken down like this before, not even on the night that Shelly had disappeared but now it was like he had started and he just couldn't stop. All the pain had been building up inside him had just started to pour out of him and he couldn't stop.

"And I need you too. I can't be there for you if you're not gonna try to help me," Dean continued. "I am in so much pain right now and you haven't done anything. You haven't told me that we'll find her or that everything's gonna be okay and God, I need you to be my brother right now," tears were streaming down Dean's face now but he made no attempt to wipe them away. He had bottled his feelings up for a week now and now it was all spilling out.

"I know I haven't been around for you much but I've been going through quite a lot too," Sam tried to tell his brother but Dean wasn't going to listen to him.

"Yeah you have but have you shown it even once? You walk around like everything's okay but it isn't. I hear you at night; when I'm trying my hardest not to sleep. You wander round the house, you pace up and down but you won't admit that you're grieving. You won't just let yourself sit down and mourn the fact that the woman that you love has just died." Dean started to calm down after this and he sat in silence for a while.

Sam began to ponder everything that Dean had just yelled at him. His brother was right; he hadn't been much help the last few days. He had wrapped himself in hunting the demon that he had completely forgotten that his brother was hurting too. He had completely ignored his own grief too.

"I remember when Jess died," Dean said quietly, the worst of his rant over with, "You almost self-destructed and I can't watch you do that again. I've lost everyone I have ever cared about and I just can't watch you die too. I need to know that you're not gonna do anything stupid."

Sam didn't speak; he couldn't speak. Dean was pouring his heart out and he couldn't think of any words of comfort to make him feel better. Sam understood exactly what Dean was looking for but he couldn't seem to give it to him.

"Sam, tell me you're not gonna do something stupid."

"I'm not gonna do anything stupid," he promised. "I understand what you're saying to me and I get that you need me right now but it's just too hard."

"Why is it too hard?"

"Because it's my fault," Sam finally began to break down; the pain and grief that had been weighing on him for the last week began to tumble out of him. "I shouldn't have gone out that night. I shouldn't have made you go out that night. If we'd just stayed home then maybe I could have saved her."

"You couldn't have done any more," Dean tried to comfort him. "Like you couldn't when Jess died."

"But I could've done something when Jess died. I could've saved her if I hadn't ignored those dreams and I could've saved Joanne if I had just stayed. I can't believe it happened again. I can't believe that I lost another person that I loved. And I'm being a lousy brother. You are in so much pain and I can't even help you through that. You're daughter is missing and she is the most important person in your life and I can't even do anything to make you feel better."

"Sam, you're grieving you can't be expected to look after me as well."

"Why should you have to carry that burden? You've been nothing but supportive to me and I've done nothing for you. I'm so sorry for being such a bad brother."

"You're not a bad brother," Dean told him as he rested his arm on his little brother's shoulder. "I just wish that you wouldn't bottle everything up. The grief and the guilt is gonna kill you if you keep on like this."

"That coming from the king of bottling feelings," Sam tried to joke.

Dean smiled a little at the joke. "Yeah coming from the king."

Sam was crying by now, the tears fell down his reddened cheeks and dropped down onto the dusty ground in front of him. "I miss her so much," he said in a small, almost childlike voice. "I can't stop thinking about her."

"I know it hurts but you need to let yourself feel."

"I don't want to. It hurts too much to feel. I don't want to hurt this much. I just want it all to stop," Sam completely broke down and Dean wrapped his arms around his baby brother; pushing away his own pain for the time being because Sam needed him. "Please make it stop," he begged.

"I wish I could Sammy," Dean said softly; his body wracked with sobs. "I wish I could."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Sorry this took so long to post, I swear to God procrastination is my own worst enemy**

**Chapter Six**

Dean rolled over in bed when he felt a warm body lie down next to him, causing the mattress to sag.

"Morning," he greeted the body warmly and leant over to kiss her. "I missed you."

"I only went to get Shelly out of bed," Emma smiled and kissed Dean again. "She was missing her daddy."

"Well, I missed her too. Hi there baby girl," he smiled and stroked her head with his hands. "Daddy loves you so much." Michelle stirred in Emma's arms but didn't wake up.

"This is a perfect morning," Emma told Dean as he ran his fingers through her long, dark hair. "I could just stay like this forever."

"I wish we could," Dean murmured. "I never want to get out of bed again. I just want to stay here forever with the two women that I love."

"Shelly will be awake soon. She needs to be fed and changed."

"I could watch her sleep forever."

"Nothing lasts forever, you of all people should know that," Emma's tone had changed dramatically. It was dark and quiet, full of menace. It didn't sound like Emma at all.

"I just wish it could."

Emma opened her mouth to speak but instead of words, a scream of pure pain erupted from her mouth. It scared Dean to his very core.

"What's wrong?" He asked, panicking.

"You have to help me," she begged. "Please you need to save me. I need you to help me. Please don't leave me here."

"I don't know what to do," Dean said to her.

"It hurts so much, please don't leave me here," Emma double up in pain and dropped Michelle to the floor. Dean reached out to try and catch her but she disappeared into thin air before she hit the ground."

"NO!" Dean cried out as he woke up; lurching up from the sofa he was lying on and bile rising in the back of his throat. He barely had enough time to make it to the kitchen and the sink before he emptied the meagre contents of his stomach into the sink. The dream had scared him beyond belief.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked as he gently rubbed Dean's back to soothe him. He had heard Dean's nightmare and, after the events of the previous night, Sam had decided he was going to be there for his brother more. Dean didn't make any move to push him away, no matter how girly the situation seemed.

"Not really," Dean said quietly, his voice hoarse from the vomiting.

"You wanna tell me what you were dreaming about?"

"Emma," Dean told him as he sat down at the table. Sam poured him a glass of cold water and placed it in front of his brother. "I dreamed of Emma."

"What was it about?"

"She was alive and we were together with Michelle."

"Sounds like a good dream," Sam said, gently pushing without actually saying what he was thinking. It was a good way of getting Dean to open up.

"It started off good, it was perfect. But then she started screaming in pain and she was begging me to help her but I couldn't. Then she dropped Shelly and she disappeared."

"I think that's your own guilt at what's happened coming to the surface."

"I kinda figured that one out myself," Dean replied, somewhat sarcastically. "I just want them to stop."

"I don't think they will yet," Sam replied sadly.

"I need to find Shelly," Dean told him; his voice quiet and sad. He wrapped his arms around his stomach; making sure he wasn't going to throw up anymore before he sat down at the table.

"Joanne's parents called last night, after you fell asleep," Sam sadly told him. "The cops released her body," his breath hitched as he uttered the word 'body.' It still hurt to think of her as dead. "They're organising the funeral."

"When is it?"

"Monday," he said quietly. "Her funeral is Monday."

"Then we can put the hunt on hold for a couple of days and head over for the funeral," Dean told him.

"I don't know if I can do this," Sam admitted, sorrowfully. "I don't know if I can go her funeral and stand there and act like I don't know what killed her. I just can't do it."

"Yes you can," Dean adamantly told him. "You have to otherwise you're not gonna have your chance to say goodbye. I didn't go to Emma's funeral and I totally regret it. You need this chance to grieve before we hunt the son of a bitch down."

"You're right," Sam told his brother. "I know that you're right but it isn't gonna make it any easier."

"Nothing's gonna make it any easier. It's the funeral of the woman you loved and there's nothing that's gonna make it okay. You just have to put on a brave face and go through with it. Can you do that?"

"I can do that," Sam replied but he could not meet Dean's eyes. "I have to do that." Dean rested his hand on Sam's shoulder.

"I know you can," Dean smiled sadly. He could see the pain in Sam's eyes; still fresh from the night before. "And I'll be right there with you. Just not holding your hand." Sam looked up and gave Dean a look of shock on surprise. "Got you there didn't I?" Dean grinned, momentarily forgetting everything and just enjoying the joke.

"You got me," Sam admitted. "You know you're a jerk?"

"Yeah but you didn't feel sad for a moment did you?"

"I guess not. But now I feel guilty for not thinking about her."

"You don't have anything to feel guilty about, ever," Dean insisted, putting the emphasis on ever. "I told you all this last night, you are not to blame. The only thing we can do now is go to Joanne's funeral and hunt the son of a bitch that killed her down."

"I think I need to lie down," Sam told Dean, ignoring what his brother had just said before he stood up and left the room; leaving Dean sitting alone and feeling forlorn.

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Sam was feeling restless. His breathing was shallow; he felt like his heart was about to burst out of his chest at any moment now. The bile in his stomach was beginning to rise up into his throat. He wanted to throw up but he knew he couldn't. He didn't have anything to throw up.

Dean could feel how tense Sam was; he was practically shaking with pain, fear and anger but there was nothing he could do for his baby brother. All he could do was stand next to him and let his presence be known so Sam knew he wasn't completely alone.

Sam had decided to sit at the back of the church because he didn't want to interfere with the family's grief. Dean tried to protest by saying that he had just as much right to be at the front, he was engaged to her after all but Sam was insistent that they didn't. Wanting to respect his brother's wishes; Dean relented and they sat at the back.

Sam hated funerals. He had suffered through enough deaths in his life and this was just another one. Funerals always managed to remind him of how much his life revolved around death; from his loved ones being cruelly snatched away to hunting evil and spending most of his nights digging up corpses to dispose of an angry spirit. It was becoming too much for him to bear.

Dean could feel Sam tense up even more when the coffin was brought into the church. A wreath of dark crimson roses adorned the top; the brass plaque shone in the light that streamed through the stained glass. It looked so peaceful yet so heartbreaking at the same time. The pallbearers; with their sombre expressions on their faces, slowly carried the coffin down the centre of the church until it rested at the front. It was from then on that Sam entered his own trance-like state and ceased to pay attention to anything that was going on around him. He just stared; his gaze never once leaving the coffin of his love. Dean couldn't do anything but sit and worry about his brother.

Sam didn't hear anything; he didn't sing the hymns, he didn't hear the eulogy. He was working completely on autopilot because his mind couldn't cope with the pain right at that moment. He felt a tear slip down his cheek but he didn't wipe it away; he just left it to trickle down his cheek and fall, splashing onto his hands. This tear was followed by another and then another until he found himself unable to stop. He felt Dean's hand on his shoulder but he couldn't even find the will to acknowledge his brother's presence.

"Are you okay?" He could hear Dean ask. He nodded dumbly but didn't say a word. "We could leave if you need to," Sam shook his head. It was typical Dean to ask him something like that; putting Sam above himself. He would have gladly let Dean lead him out of the church but he knew that if he did then he would never get the chance to say his final goodbye to Joanne.

So he sat there and stared; waiting for the service to end and everyone to leave before he could have his chance to speak and maybe let go of some of this grief and pain that he had been holding on to since she had died.

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He waited until the gravedigger had finished filling in the grave before he made his way over to the grave. The sun was just beginning to set and the sky was a brilliant red colour. It made Sam think of blood, especially Joanne's blood.

There was no headstone to mark her presence in the cemetery yet, just a small wooden cross, a temporary arrangement until a more permanent fixture was erected. He kneeled down in front and whispered to her in a small voice.

"The amount of times I've done this and it never stops hurting," Sam said softly. "I did this for Jessica and I did this for my father and it just keeps on creating this hole in my heart that no matter what I do can't be filled. I hate this so much; I hate that I couldn't save you and that I let you down so badly. I should have been there to protect you. I know that if you were here you would tell me that I'm being stupid and that you could look after yourself but I still feel like that. I wish that I hadn't left you that night so that you could still be here.

"I miss you so much right now," he continued. "I want you here so that I can hold you and be with you but you're not here anymore and I can't," he stopped to wipe a tear away from his cheek. "I'm not angry at you for dying. The only person that I'm angry at is myself. After Jess I should have realised that I shouldn't have fallen in love. I shouldn't have let myself get so close to someone that they get hurt because that's what always happens isn't it? I get close and then they die. Well not anymore. I'm never gonna let myself get so close to anyone again because then I don't have to go through all this suffering."

"Now, now; you don't have to resort to that," a female's voice came from behind him. Sam tensed up and prepared to attack. "Don't be like that I'm not going to hurt you. Why don't you turn around and face me."

Sam slowly turned his body and faced the woman who had approached him. She was young and pretty with long blonde hair. She wore a pair of tight jeans and a light jacket; despite the cold.

"Who are you?" He demanded to know.

"There'll be plenty of time for introductions later. I have a proposition for you."

"I'm not going to listen to you until you tell me your name."

"Ruby," she replied. "Now do you want to hear what I have to say?"

* * *

**A/N 2: I'm using season three Ruby because I prefer her to season four Ruby**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

"Why should I listen to a word that you have to say?" Sam asked; his voice laced with suspicion.

"Because I can help you find your pretty little girlfriend's killer."

"And how would you know how to do that?"

"Because I'm good."

"Or you're involved somehow; which means I'd have to kill you," he told her with no sign of joking in his voice.

"Oh please," Ruby said as she rolled her eyes. "Why would I want to murder a pathetic little girl and steal some snot nosed little brat? I just know how to help you."

"And what do you want in return?" Sam asked warily; he wasn't going to trust this woman easily if he could help it.

"Why would you think that I want anything?" She asked cryptically.

"Because there's something about you that I don't trust and I haven't decided what that is yet. So you're either hiding something big or you want something in return for your help. Now which one is it?"

"You got me there; I do want something in return for helping you."

"And what would that be?" Sam growled. He was in no mood for her games.

"The demon that killed her, I want her dead."

"And why would you want that?"

"I have my reasons," she told him as she fold her arms and took a step closer to him. "None of which I am prepared to go into. All you need to know is that she has screwed us both and you're the only one with any chance of stopping her."

"So why are you putting so much faith in me? How do you know that I can stop her?"

"You killed Azazel and that means you can kill her too. You even have the same motivation to kill her; she did kill your girlfriend."

"And how am I supposed to kill this demon?"

"Isn't it obvious?" She asked him as if he should automatically know the answer.

"Well obviously it isn't if I'm asking you," Sam retorted with a bite of anger in his voice.

"Sam, you have your own personal armoury inside of you. It would be stupid not to use it."

"I am not going to do that," Sam growled in response. "I will not use those powers ever again," he told her and he meant it. He wasn't going to tap into those powers any time soon.

"But it's the best way for you to do this," Ruby protested.

"Is it?" Sam retorted. "Because I saw what happened to the others who were like me. I saw what happened to them all. They went crazy and became murderers and they enjoyed it. I will not allow myself to give in to that."

"But you won't," Ruby seduced. "You're stronger than that; you're stronger than all of the others. After all, they didn't manage to kill Azazel, did they?"

"Well, I didn't either; it was Dean who did that."

"But he wouldn't have been able to do it if you hadn't been there. Face it, Sammy; you're stronger with those abilities than without them and you won't be able to resist them for long."

"And why would that be?"

"Because they're a part of you and you can't ignore that," she told him as she moved in close to him and whispered in his ear. "You'll come around eventually," she smiled.

"I doubt it," Sam said as he pushed her away and knocked her shoulder as he brushed past her.

Ruby simply smiled as she watched Sam walk away from her. She knew that he would come around to her way of thinking eventually. She just had to keep on trying.

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Dean was feeling frustrated. And helpless. Yes that adequately described the current situation, frustrated and helpless. He was feeling frustrated because the search for his little girl was not going as well as he hoped and he was feeling helpless because he felt he couldn't ask for any help.

He had left Sam at the cemetery; in front of Joanne's grave. His little brother needed time alone to grieve so he had decided to give him that space. So he had headed back to the motel they were staying at and started to look for his daughter.

God, he missed her so much. There was a pain in his chest that ached for her and it would not disappear no matter how much he tried to ignore it. The longer she was missing; the bigger the pain became. It was difficult to breathe. It was difficult to move. It took him all of his strength just to get up in the morning and carry on like he could pretend he wasn't falling apart inside.

The search wasn't very fruitful at the moment. Every lead he tried to search ended up as a dead end, he couldn't find anything. He spent hours sitting at the laptop researching various demons that could have taken her but still he found nothing. They were about as useful as the books at Bobby's place.

Closing the laptop in frustration; he stood up from the table and ran his hand across his face, rubbing his eyes with his fingers; kneading the tired flesh between his fingertips. Sighing heavily he made his way over to his bed. He just wanted to sleep; to fall into a dreamless slumber and rest for a while until this nightmare finally ended.

But it wouldn't end; couldn't end. Not whilst Michelle was gone. It wasn't like his dreams were any more of a haven from life. Every night he dreamt of Emma and Michelle and what their lives could have been like. A world where they were all together and happy and nothing bad could ever happen to them. It never lasted though, the dream would turn sour; Emma would call for his help but he could never do it. He would always wake up with a pain in his heart and a sick feeling in his stomach.

He crashed onto the hard mattress with the funny stains covering the sheets and he closed his eyes. He didn't intend on falling asleep so quickly; he just wanted to rest a while before he continued searching but he was so tired he fell asleep almost as soon as he closed his eyes.

And he was there again. He was dreaming of a perfect life with Emma and Michelle. They were all happy; Dean could feel the warmth radiating from Emma's skin. Her smile made his heart ache for her and he longed for this dream to be real. Her arms felt so good around his body he wanted to lose himself in her and never let her go.

She looked beautiful; more beautiful then he remembered. Her skin was luminescent and her eyes bright. She was wearing a white dress that fell down to her knees; brushing gently across her skin. Her curly brown hair fell down her back; shining in the morning light. She was almost angelic.

"I miss you so much," Emma whispered as she rested her head on Dean's chest; his heart beat calmed her down. "All I ever wanted was to be with you."

"I miss you too," Dean whispered. "I just wish that you were here and that Shelly was safe. I don't know what to do anymore."

"You just have to keep looking. You'll find her eventually; just look for the sunrise."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You'll know when you see it. Don't worry about it too much now; just enjoy the moment."

"How can I enjoy this when I know that Michelle is somewhere out there and she could be suffering for all I know?"

"She's not suffering, I promise you. She doesn't even know what's going on. She won't ever remember any of this when she grows up."

"Can't you just tell me where she is?"

"I did tell you. Look for the sunrise and then you'll find her. But for now you have more pressing issues at hand."

"What?" Dean asked; starting to become more confused then he already was.

"You have to watch out. There's something coming and it's not good."

"What's not good?"

"Make sure that Sam doesn't fall for it or the consequences could be devastating," Emma told him; pushing away from his warm body and crossing the room. She wrapped her arms around herself as if she was cold and trying to warm herself up.

"I don't know what you mean," Dean said to her.

"He's going to be sucked in by the lies, by the promise that he can have his revenge. But this is a misguided judgement and if he goes down that route then he will suffer greatly."

"How do you know about all of this?"

"I'm in Hell, I hear things," she explained. "And I hear that there are big plans for Sam. If you let this happen then there is no way you will be able to save him."

"I wish I could get you out of Hell. I wish I could save you."

"You can't save me and you know that. I sold my soul and I'm willing to pay the price for doing that. The only thing that keeps me sane down there is knowing that you were alive and safe."

"Who is it that is after Sam?" Dean asked; changing the subject away from the very painful topic of Emma's death. He took a step towards her but she stepped away.

"Not who, what," Emma replied. "You should be asking what is after Sam."

"Then what is after Sam?"

"Demons," Emma told him. "There are demons that want him dead and there are demons that want him evil and you need to protect him from both. He might think that what he is doing is right but it will lead him down a very dark path and you have to do everything in your power to stop him. If you don't a higher power will become involved."

"What do you mean by that?" Dean asked; his voice laced with concern for his brother.

"I can't tell you more; just what I hear around but it's not good. Just make sure you protect Sam or you're gonna lose him too."

"Please I need to know more; tell me what I have to do," Dean begged but he received no reply.

Emma's demeanour suddenly changed. Her eyes became wide and full of fear. "Please, help me," she begged of him. "You have to help me; I don't want to be here anymore you have to get me out."

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Sam returned to the motel to find Dean in a restless sleep. He could see that Dean was suffering greatly in this dream. He hurried over to his brother's bed and shook him until he was able to rouse the sleeping Winchester.

"Dean!" He called out; shaking his brother furiously. "Dean, wake up."

"Wha'?" Dean replied as he suddenly woke up; sitting up sharply from his position lying on the bed. "Where's the fire?"

"There's no fire Dean," Sam said; stifling a grin. "You were having a nightmare."

"Damn it," Dean replied; rubbing his eyes with his fingers. "How long have I been out?"

"I don't know I just go back," Sam replied. "What was the dream about?"

"Emma," Dean told him.

"What happened this time?" Sam gently probed; wanting to know more.

"She was warning me."

"Warning you about what?" Sam was feeling rather frustrated at Dean's reluctance to share.

"Things that are going to happen. She told me to look for the sunrise."

"Is that it?"

"She also said something about a higher power and there was talk of demons, she was very cryptic. Where have you been?" Dean asked Sam; it was his turn to provide some answers.

"I was at Joanne's grave. There was a woman there."

"What did she want?"

"She told me I should have revenge against the demon that killed Joanne."

Dean didn't reply to what Sam had told him. A sinking feeling had just emerged in the pit of his stomach. This is what Emma had been warning Dean about in his dream.

This was what was going to destroy Sam.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Sorry it's been so long with the update, writer's block is a bitch  
**

**Chapter Eight**

"I thought I told you I wasn't interested," Sam said to Ruby as she approached him for the second time in as many days. Sam had stepped outside for a moment to get some fresh air when she had appeared; as if from nowhere. He really didn't have the patience to deal with her tonight.

"And I told you that you would come around to my way of thinking eventually. I'm just hanging around to speed up the process," Ruby smiled and took a step closer to Sam, her arms crossed around her chest. She leaned in and whispered in his ear, "You know you want to."

"I really don't," Sam pushed her away and turned to make his way back into the motel room but Ruby grabbed hold of his arm and stopped him. "Get off me," he demanded in a tone of voice that suggested he really wasn't kidding.

"I will when you agree to listen what I have to say."

"Say your piece and then leave," Sam growled; keeping his distance from her.

"If you allow yourself to let go and embrace these powers then you could get your revenge in half the time it would if you were to track those demons down yourself."

"Didn't you tell me that before? You're saying nothing new."

"Well it's true and you should listen to me. You could be so powerful; you could wipe all of these demons out with a word if you just gave in," Ruby said as she attempted to seduce him with the promise of power. "I could show you."

Sam thought about Ruby's offer for a moment. He had to admit; it was a rather tempting offer. He did really want to hunt these sons of bitches down; he wanted to cause them so much pain, he wanted to inflict the same pain they had caused him.

"What could you show me?" He tentatively asked; intrigued by what she had to say.

"I could show you how to hone your powers," she told him and took a step towards him. This time he didn't move away. "You have so much power in you Sam; you just gotta learn how to use it. There is so much you could do and I could show you how to do it all."

"How to do what?" Sam inwardly cringed when he heard Dean's voice permeate the air. He turned around and saw a very tired looking Dean.

Dean had barely slept since Joanne's funeral and it was beginning to show. The dark circles that had been permanently under his eyes had darkened further because he spent all his time avoiding sleep. Sleep brought the nightmares and Dean didn't want to think about Emma. Thinking about Emma made him feel guilty that he hadn't been able to protect Michelle. All this guilt and pain and fear had begun to spiral out of his control and now he was confronting his brother and some strange woman that he had never seen before.

Sam didn't reply and neither did the woman. Dean didn't trust her one bit. He'd pretty much automatically assumed this was the woman from the cemetery and the woman who Emma was warning him against from his dream. "I asked a question," he said; a little harsher than he had intended to. Sam looked at the floor; not able to meet his brother's eye.

"I don't see how this is any of your business," Ruby replied with a sharp bite to her voice. She had no time for Dean and wasn't afraid to show that.

"It's my business when it's my brother."

"Well, he's a grown up boy so you don't need to look after him."

"Who the hell are you anyway?"

"Dean, this is Ruby," Sam introduced them. "The woman I was telling you about the other night."

"The one who was in the cemetery?" Dean asked even though he already knew the answer to the question.

"Yeah."

"So what's she doing here?"

"She just wanted to talk."

"About you getting revenge on those demons," he didn't even bother to phrase that as a question. He didn't even try to hide the disgust in his voice.

"Don't make it sound like it's a bad thing," Sam protested. "She just wants to help."

"By help do you mean be a pain and end up with both of us dead?"

"This has nothing to do with you," Ruby cut in, "So why don't you just high tail it out of here and leave us to have a nice little chat?"

"How about you get the hell away from my brother and leave us alone."

"Dean, don't do this. She's just trying to help."

"Well, I don't trust her."

"That's funny because I don't trust you either," Ruby almost yelled back at Dean. She turned to Sam, "Come and find me when puppy's on a leash," she told him before she walked away.

"How could you act like that?" Sam asked Dean in complete disbelief of how his brother had just been acting. "I know you're having a tough time of it but that doesn't mean you can treat her like complete crap."

"Like I already said; I don't trust the woman. There's something about her that isn't right and I'm not gonna sit around and watch her treat you like an idiot."

"She's not gonna do that."

"She's just using you," Dean exclaimed. "She wants something and she's using you to get it."

"Why don't you trust her? She hasn't done anything to make me think that she's bad."

"She's pulling the wool over your eyes. She's trouble and I think you should stay away from her."

"I am not a child Dean," Sam exclaimed. "I don't need you telling me who I can and can't see." Sam turned away from his brother and headed back into the motel room. "Are you coming in or just gonna stand out here and sulk?"

"I'm goin' out," Dean told him and headed off in the opposite direction; leaving the Impala behind and a very bewildered brother standing in the doorway.

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Dean wanted to drink as much as he possibly could in the shortest amount of time possible. He found a quiet bar near to the motel and parked himself at the bar. He ordered glass after glass of whiskey and downed them. Things were spiralling out of control; he had no doubt about that. He had lost Emma, he had lost Michelle and now it seemed he was on the way to losing Sam as well. His plan of revenge could never end well; it would just end with him getting himself killed. Or worse. He didn't want to stand around and let that happen but he didn't know how to stop it. So he drank. And drank. Wallowing in his own misery seemed like the best option at the time.

"Hi there," he heard a voice come from behind him; a female voice. He turned slightly and even in his drunken state he could see she was good looking. "Is there any reason why you're sitting all alone and drinking?"

"I want to," he replied gruffly. He wasn't really in the mood.

"I suppose that's a good a reason as any," she smiled. "I'm Hannah."

"Dean," he told her before he turned back to his glass.

"You know whatever problems you're having you find the solution in the bottom of a whiskey glass."

"Who says I want a solution? Maybe I just want to drink to forget."

"Well what do you want to forget?" She was trying to find a way in but Dean was not making it easy for her.

"I wanna forget everything," he replied rather bluntly before taking another sip from his glass.

"I could help you forget," the woman smiled and touched Dean's hand. He didn't try to move it away.

"And how are you gonna do that?" He asked; his words slurring. He must have been drunker than he thought.

"Come with me," she said as she grasped his hand tighter; pulling him up from his seat and close to her. She stood on her tiptoes and leaned in close enough to kiss him on the lips. He didn't pull away; in fact he seemed to relish the contact with the woman.

It had felt like so long since he had been with a woman; for some reason which; at this precise moment in time, he couldn't think of the exact reason why. Maybe it had something to do with Emma breaking his heart or wanting to be a good role model for Michelle. Well; neither of them were with him now; he had failed them both so he decided to throw caution to the wind and just go home with this woman. After all, what was the worst that could happen?

She broke the kiss and led him out of the bar. He didn't even notice the man sitting in the corner watching his every move.

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Dean woke up early the next morning, long before the sun had risen and groaned loudly. Just how much did he have to drink last night? It must have been a lot to make him feel this crap. He rolled over and felt a warm body lying next to him. 'Damn it,' he cursed to himself. He'd only gone out to have a few drinks and wallow in self pity; how had he ended up in some stranger's bed? He turned around to face the woman; who was thankfully still fast asleep. Wanting to make a quick and exit as possible he silently slipped out of the bed and felt around for his clothes.

He looked back at the woman before he left. He hadn't even found out her name before he had gone home with her. He felt a pang of guilt as he thought that which was weird. He'd never felt guilty about sex before. He also had to fight the strange urge to wake the sleeping woman and ask her name but decided to leave before he broke and actually did that. He hurried out of the house and was rather glad he had decided to leave the Impala back at the motel last night.

The cold early morning air was rather refreshing and managed to wash most of the crippling hangover away before he returned to the motel. He quietly opened the door and hoped that Sam was asleep. It was still early after all.

Sam wasn't asleep. Sam was sitting at the table looking less than happy with his older brother. Sam looked like he was ready to kill Dean.

"Where've you been?" He asked; his voice low and pinched; he was going to blow any second now.

"Out," Dean replied. "It's not a crime is it?"

"It should be the way you acted last night."

"I don't see anything wrong with the way I acted," the calm sound of Sam's voice unnerved Dean. He'd rather just have him yell; at least then he would know how to react.

"She was only trying to help."

"And yet I still don't believe that for one second. I don't trust her."

"Why don't you trust her?"

Dean stopped when Sam asked him that. He knew very well it was because of the dream where Emma had warned him that Sam would end up either evil or dead. He just wasn't sure if he should tell Sam that.

"Well, are you going to answer me?" Sam demanded.

"I just don't trust her," Dean settled with; choosing not to tell Sam.

"That really isn't a good enough answer."

"So you're just gonna listen to a woman who turned up on the day your fiancé was buried; to tell you that she can show you how to get revenge. Revenge, I might add, that will almost certainly get you killed. So excuse me while I stand here and choose not to believe what this stranger has to say."

"I can't believe you're acting like this," Sam exclaimed. "She hasn't done anything wrong."

"She hasn't done anything right either," Dean replied as he turned and headed back to the door.

"Where are you going now?" Sam asked him.

"I'm going for coffee," Dean told him but he didn't turn back as he closed the door behind him.

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Dean noticed the man as soon as he stepped outside the room. He was standing across the road; staring intently at Dean, his body illuminated by the slowly rising sun. Feeling more than a little creeped out; Dean swallowed hard and headed over to him.

"Why are you staring at me?" He asked. The man slowly turned his head and stared Dean in the eyes. He didn't speak. Dean's heart leapt into his mouth as he realised something. The other part of his dream about Emma.

Look for the sunrise.

This guy could help him find his daughter.

* * *

**Ooh, who is this mystery man? Tune in next time to find out.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: It's my birthday so here's a new chapter  
**

**Chapter Nine**

Where's your brother?" Ruby asked as Sam let her into the motel room. Sam shrugged his shoulders in reply. It was pretty much the truth. Dean had stormed out of the motel room ten minutes ago. Sam had stood and watched him out of the window for a few minutes until he left with a strange man but Sam hadn't thought to follow them. Whoever he was, Sam didn't really care. He moved away from the window and sat down on the bed; running his hands through his hair.

Could Dean be right about Ruby? He was vehemently objective about her; he obviously saw something in her that Sam couldn't. Or was Dean just being paranoid? Was he seeing something that really wasn't there? She couldn't be all that bad could she? Dean certainly seemed to think so, according to him she was practically the devil incarnate.

He swallowed hard as he felt Ruby's presence in the room. He didn't turn to her as she spoke.

"Where's your brother?" She asked.

"He went out," Sam replied; not meeting her eyes as she walked around and stood in front of him. "Don't know where."

"That's good; at least he's not around to disturb us."

"Who are you?" Sam asked as he finally looked at her; her long blonde hair was hanging loosely around her shoulders and her arms crossed at her chest. Her stance looked threatening to Sam.

"I told you," She said, trying to keep her voice light but neutral.

"No you didn't. You told me your name but you never told me who you were. Why should I trust you when I know nothing about you?"

"What does it matter?" Ruby shrugged.

"It matters because you could be anyone. Now tell me who you are or leave."

"Fine," Ruby huffed and revealed her true nature. Sam moved away from her in shock and horror as her eyes turned black.

"You're a demon!" He called out; a horrified tone in his voice.

"Don't be such a racist," Ruby commented as her eyes changed back to normal.

"You're a demon and you want me to use my powers? Powers I swore I would never use again. Powers that I actually haven't had since Yellow Eyes died."

"They weren't gone, they were just dormant and you can easily learn how to tap into them again."

"Who says I want to?" Sam defiantly asked.

"It's your best chance at getting your revenge against the demons that killed your fiancé and I think you know that," Ruby paused and watched for Sam's reaction. His face remained still and blank as he contemplated what she was saying to him.

Yes, she was a demon and therefore he immediately didn't trust a word she had to say. But was she was saying had started to hit home. He had no way of finding these demons and he badly wanted revenge against them. They had taken away one of the most important people to him and as much as he wanted to tell Ruby to get the hell out of the motel room; he had to admit maybe he did need her after all.

"I can help you," she finally said, "You might want to consider my offer."

"Why?" Sam asked just to be awkward.

"It might just save your life."

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"Who are you?" Dean asked the strange man as he hurried across the street to meet him. The man stared at him; his eyes piercing through Dean's face. It unnerved him a little to see this guy so still. "Who are you?" Dean asked again.

"Castiel," the man told him but offered no further information.

"You wanna elaborate further?" Dean said, "Like by telling me who the hell you are and why you're following me?"

"We need your help," he replied.

"Help with what?" Dean was feeling frustrated and confused by the man. "Just give me a straight answer, who are you and why do you need my help?"

"I am an angel of the lord," Castiel informed him and Dean couldn't help the snort of laughter from leaving his mouth. He had never believed in angels so what this guy was saying to him sounded completely ludicrous.

"Sorry, but I don't believe in angels."

"You need to have some faith Dean Winchester."

"How do you know my name?"

"I said before, we need your help."

"Help with what?"

"Your brother."

"Why does he need help?"

"He's headed down a dark path, even more so now that Joanne has died. You need to stop him."

"What do you mean by a dark path?"

"He's blinded by grief and revenge. If you don't do something then there will be grave consequences."

Dean could feel the anger welling up inside him. Not only did this man know something about his daughter's disappearance; something Dean hadn't brought up yet but it was on the cards, but now he was saying his brother was headed towards the dark side. Castiel seemed to sense his anger.

"You need to save your brother, it's imperative that you do."

"Why is it so important?"

"You don't want your brother evil any more than we do but that is where he is headed."

"Why do you need my help?" Dean asked; still unsure about why this man was asking him.

"You are the only one who can stop him. They will get to him with the promise of revenge but it is all lies. He is vulnerable and they will play on that. You are the only one who will make him see sense."

"And what if I can't?"

"If you don't stop him then we will."

Dean was now seething. "No, you don't get to say that," he exploded; the rage he had been trying to keep hidden burst out. "Firstly, you tell me I have to stop my brother from turning evil but don't tell me how I'm supposed to do that and secondly you know where my daughter is but at no point have you given me any information about her. You want me to help then you tell me where to find her."

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"How might it save my life?" Sam asked Ruby; confused by what she had just told him.

"You're not very popular down there, Sammy," Ruby told him. "There are certain demons that want you dead and let me tell you if they get a hold of you then not even that brother of yours will be able to save your life," she stared straight into Sam's eyes and refused to look away to prove how serious she was about this.

"You sure about that?"

"How do you know that Dean would even want to save you?" She asked; a smirk emblazoned across her face. "He already doesn't like what you're becoming and there is no way he'd like you interacting with a demon."

"You're wrong," Sam said through gritted teeth. He knew her game and he wasn't going to play along.

"He doesn't like the fact that you have these powers; he thinks you're a freak."

"I think he's a freak but that doesn't mean I'm going to let him die."

"How do you know he won't turn on you? When the times comes how can you be sure that he won't stab you in the back?"

"Because he's my brother," Sam's voice rose in anger.

"Cain killed Abel," Ruby said and Sam rolled his eyes at the biblical reference. "Anyone can turn; you of all people should know that."

"Then how do I know that you won't turn on me if push comes to shove? How do I know that you won't be the one to kill me? You are a demon after all."

"You can trust me and I am going to prove it to you."

"I don't want you to prove anything for me," Sam told her, now incredibly annoyed by her presence. How dare she speak about his brother like that? Maybe Dean was right about her being trouble, from this conversation he definitely knew he couldn't trust her at all. "What I want is for you to get the hell out of this room before I send you back to hell myself."

"You're making a mistake," she warned him. "I'm your best chance at surviving all of this and your best chance of you getting your revenge so you don't want me to leave right now."

"You keep on telling me that you're my best chance but are you really? Or do you just want to kill me as well but get me on your side before you do it?"

"I am trying to help you. I am trying to keep you alive but you're too pig headed to see that."

"You're a demon," Sam argued. "Demons aren't that well known for trying to help people. They prefer to kill them."

"Well, I'm not like other demons and I will prove it to you. Come with me," she said and grabbed him by the arm. Despite his reservations; Sam allowed himself to be led away by the blonde demon.

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"I haven't been on Earth in two thousand years," Castiel explained. They had left the exposed outdoors of the street and headed indoors to a small diner nearby.

"Then why are you here now?"

"Because the world has become a more dangerous place."

"What do you mean?"

"What do you know about a demon named Lilith?"

"I don't? Who is she?"

"She is a very powerful demon. She's trying to organise the underworld."

"So she wants power?"

"She wants more than power, she wants to awaken Lucifer."

"Lucifer?" Dean asked with a certain amount of disbelief in his voice. "I thought he was just a story to scare the little demons into being bad."

"Lucifer is very real."

"How does she intend on releasing him?" Dean asked; this time a sick feeling had descended on him and his stomach was in his mouth. This could never turn out to be good.

"By breaking the sixty six seals. If she succeeds the Lucifer will walk free."

"Why do you want me to be involved?"

"Lilith wants your daughter," Castiel warned.

"Why?" Dean sounded very alarmed.

"She wants to use her."

"She's not one of the seals is she?" Dean asked; worried even more for his daughter.

"Nothing so elaborate," Castiel put Dean's mind at rest. "But she is important to Lilith."

"But why? I don't understand."

"She is the only one to escape one of Lilith's deals. Lilith holds all of the contracts when a person sells their souls. Your daughter has been the only person not to go to hell."

"She was never involved in the deal though. Emma made the deal for Michelle to live."

"It doesn't matter, Lilith still wants her. She was planning on taking her but someone else took her first."

"And you know who that is, don't you?"

"Yes," Castiel confirmed.

"Tell me where I can find my daughter and I will help you," Dean made him an offer.

"That sounds fair."

"It sounds more than fair, it sounds like the only offer I'm going to make," Dean told him before they both fell silent. After a few minutes Dean spoke, needing to know the answer to one more question. "Why do I need to stop Sam?"

"That is something that I cannot tell you at the moment, you'll just have to trust me."

"Why not?"

"You need to figure out for yourself. I will tell you this though," Castiel said as he leaned in closer to Dean. With his voice barely above a whisper he said, "There are demons out there that want your brother dead and those that want him to lead them. Either way you can't let them get to him."

Dean swallowed hard. Everything Castiel was saying to him dug at him deep inside. Emma had told him the exact same things in his dreams. However; he could dismiss his dreams as just his subconscious playing him. A real live angel sat right in front of him was a lot harder to ignore. "Where is my daughter?" He ended up asking, not able to think of anything more than that.

"Fifteen twenty four second street," Castiel told him.

"She's in town?" Dean asked surprised but the angel was already gone and Dean was left sitting alone in the diner, wondering what he was going to do next.


	10. Chapter 10

**Next chapter time. Thanks for the reviews :D  
**

**Chapter Ten**

The building Ruby led him to was old and rickety to say the least. Sam wondered why demons had to inhabit dark and dingy buildings rather than ones that didn't look like they were about to collapse at any moment. He supposed it made them look more evil and ominous than they would if they were in a bright and airy apartment.

"We're here," Ruby said in a low voice; as if that was enough not to alert the demons to their whereabouts.

"Why are we here?" Sam asked her although he already had a very strong suspicion as to why they were there.

"I have something to show you," she told him as they reached the window with the cracked glass.

She pointed at the demons and Sam's gaze followed the finger. There were several demons spread around the room; some were sitting in threadbare chairs whilst others leaned against bare walls. They all seemed to be having the time of their lives; laughing and joking as if they didn't have a care in the world. In all honesty, they didn't have a care in the world; they were demons after all so as long as they were wreaking some sort of havoc then they were happy. It disgusted Sam to see them like this; he wanted to kill them all.

"East there Sparky," he heard Ruby say. It was as if she had been reading his mind. "You gotta hear what they have to say first."

Sam stood and listened to them. Their voices were quiet and at times he couldn't make out what they were saying but the overall theme was quite clear. They were talking about Joanne. He could hear them bragging about her death, laughing at how she had died. It made his blood boil to hear them speak about her like that. The anger must have shown on his face because Ruby grabbed hold of his arm.

"Not yet," she hissed; forcibly stopping him from running into the building and killing them all with his bare hands. "You're not ready. If you try then they will kill you without a second thought. You are weak at the moment, consumed with grief. If you do anything rash then it will all be over and you will never get your revenge."

"What do I need to do?" Sam asked; for the first time conceding that he needed Ruby's help. "How can I fight them?"

"That is what I'm going to teach you," she told him as she led him away from the building and back into the cold afternoon air. "They don't know we were here," she reassured him as he eyed the building nervously. "They're too stupid to know we're here."

"Who are they?"

"They work for Lilith."

"Who is Lilith?"

"She's a demon and she really doesn't like you."

"Is that why she killed Joanne?"

"Probably. Or maybe it's because she's a vindictive little bitch but whatever her reason is she is desperate to have you dead."

"Why?"

"Because you're the biggest threat to her power. Now listen to me very carefully," she moved closer to Sam and lowered her voice even further as she spoke. "I'm going to show you how to do this but you have to be careful. Don't do anything rash and don't tell your brother about this, he won't understand."

"Fine," Sam told her.

"Good, I'll meet you later and we'll begin," Ruby said before she turned around and walked off.

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When Sam returned to the motel room it was beginning to go dark. He had been out for hours just walking around thinking about everything that had happened. He was so close now. He could feel it and it made his stomach turn with fear and nervousness and excitement. He knew he shouldn't feel excited but he almost had his revenge against those who had killed Joanne and that was not something to ignore.

He found Dean in the room; sitting on the bed and staring at the floor. His hands were twisted together so tight that his knuckles had turned white. He was deep in thought, so deep he hadn't even noticed that his brother had returned. He had a pained look on his face and Sam instantly felt guilty about the secrets he was hiding from Dean.

"Hey," he said to get his brother's attention; cringing at how lame it sounded. Dean finally looked up.

"Hey," he repeated. "Where've you been?" It was a simple question; there was no accusatory tone nor anything that made him push any further if Sam didn't want to."

"Just out," Sam replied but didn't offer anything further. "What about you? I saw you talking to some guy out there earlier."

"Yeah, that's a long story," Dean smiled sadly. "But to cut it short he told me where I can find Shelly."

"He did?" Sam asked excitedly; feeling happy for his brother. Then something occurred to him. "Wait, how does he know where she is in the first place?"

"Because he's an angel," Dean replied; his voice still sounded shocked at the thought that angels actually existed. "He's an angel," he repeated as if trying to convince himself more than anything.

"And he told you where to find Shelly?"

"Yeah, he said that she was important to some demon and that they wanted her but when they came that night she had already been taken."

"Are you going to get her?"

"As soon as it's dark. I'm gonna head over there and I'm gonna get my daughter back. Are you coming?"

"I can't," Sam replied regretfully. "There's something that I have to do."

Dean smiled sadly again. "There's always something that you have to do. Can't you just do what I want for once? Can't you just stop this destructive path you're on and help me?"

"I'm sorry."

"Whatever," Dean said in a defeatist tone. "You can do whatever you want, I won't stop you but I am going tonight and I am going to get my daughter back."

Sam felt guilty about not wanting to go and help Dean; he was after all going to find his daughter after she had been missing for weeks but Sam felt this was more important. He had to sit and wait for Ruby to show so she could start to teach him. He was impatient and wanted to learn everything quickly and he couldn't do that if he went with Dean. So regretfully he had to decline Dean's offer.

"I'm sorry," Sam told his brother and he genuinely was. "I just can't."

"I'm not going to argue with you, Sam," Dean told him. He was tired of the arguing, tired of the constant tension between the two of them. He wasn't going to force Sam to go with him if his heart wasn't in it. "You don't have to go," his voice sounded weary; like he didn't have the energy to fight Sam anymore; he just wanted Michelle back. "You can stay here if you want. I just don't want to fight with you anymore."

"I don't want to fight with you either."

"I just want to go and get my daughter back so I can stop all of this," he sighed. He just wanted to sleep and not dream. He wanted to forget the nightmares that he was suffering from. He wanted everything to go back to the way it was. Before Joanne had died, before Shelly had been taken. A time when Sam smiled, a time when his baby brother was happy and not the shadow of a man that stood before him. He stood up and grabbed his jacket before he picked up a gun and tucked it safely into his jacket. "I'll see you when I get back," he said to Sam before he headed to the door and left.

Sam stood there in silence as he heard the roar of the Impala's engine. He just stood there and didn't do anything at all.

"Good, he's gone," he heard Ruby say from behind him. "We can begin now."

"What do I have to do?" Sam asked; keeping his voice even and emotionless.

"Listen to me."

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Dean had left the Impala on a street a few blocks away from his destination so not to draw attention to himself. He then walked the remaining distance on foot until he was stood outside the small, dark house.

It looked so normal, he thought. Not at all like he had imagined. It was two stories high and painted a quaint kind of cream colour. Ivy crawled up the wall; bent and twisted in the wooden trellis. It didn't look like the place he would have expected his daughter to be held. He had imagined somewhere darker and gloomy, looking more like a prison than a house. But it didn't. It looked like the kind of idyllic house people grew old together living in. A picture perfect postcard even.

But he was so close now he could practically feel it. His stomach was turning; the butterflies were going crazy at the thought that he might see his daughter again. He took a step towards the house and pulled the gun out of his jacket. He removed the safety and held it close to his chest as he prepared to attack.

The door wasn't locked. When he tried it the door swung open with ease. Lifting his guard up; Dean tensed himself and prepared for the worst. This all seemed a little bit too easy to him and he wasn't going to let himself be caught off guard by whomever or whatever the hell was in the house. He stepped inside and headed towards the living room. The house was dark and threatening on the inside. It was also empty. There was no furniture in the room; it was completely bare. Now Dean was beginning to think he was in over his head.

There was no-one in the room so he turned around to head back for the door. His plan had been to head up the stairs to see if he could find Shelly but something stopped him. And it wasn't what he expected.

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"This isn't working," Sam growled; frustrated by his lack of progress. Ruby had been teaching him for the last two hours but he just wasn't getting the hang of it. She had turned up with a demon and they had trapped it so he could practice his powers.

"You have to have patience," Ruby told him. "It's not gonna come straight away; you need to practice."

"I don't have time to practice," Sam uttered. "They'll figure out we're here eventually and when they do they're gonna come after us. We need to strike now and stop them before they kill us."

Ruby sighed as she realised that Sam wasn't going to focus in the slightest until he fought these demons so she gave in for now. She pulled a knife out of her jacket and thrust it into the throat of the trapped demon. She took a great amount of pleasure as it screamed in pain as it died. She then turned to Sam; who looked more than a little shocked, and handed him the knife.

"This knife kills demons," she explained; rather redundantly since he had already seen what the knife could do. "You can use it for now to kill those demons but after that you have to learn how to do it yourself."

"Okay," Sam promised as he took the knife from her hand. He took a moment to stare at it before he placed it in the inside of his jacket. "Thanks," he said to her as he turned and walked out of the room. Ruby was left alone, standing in the darkened room with a corpse. Sighing softly to herself she grabbed the dead man and pulled his body away.

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Sam stalked the demons in the dark; they had no idea he was even there. He was determined that he was going to enjoy every single minute of this. That was how much they had hurt him. He could still hear them laughing and the anger rose up high inside him. Abandoning all sense of reason he kicked the door down and attacked.

The first demon he killed with great ease, sticking the knife into its throat. It choked and fell to the floor with a hard thud. The next two demons attacked in sequence but they were no match for Sam and the knife. He took them out one at a time and didn't give them a second thought as they crashed to the floor.

The final demon was the one that had been gloating about killing Joanne but now he didn't look so confident. He looked terrified and he tried to run but Sam caught up with him and shoved him hard against the wall.

"Wh... who are you?" He stammered. "Wha... wha... what d'you want?"

"I want to kill you," Sam growled menacingly and placed the knife up to the demons throat. "You took someone very special from me and now you are going to pay," there was no hint of joking in Sam's voice; he was deadly serious. He was going to kill this demon nice and slowly.

The demon realised who he was and what he was talking about. His eyes widened as he attempted to shake his head; but couldn't since he was impeded by both Sam's arm and the demon killing knife. "No," he cried out. "No I didn't kill her. I swear to you I didn't kill her."

"I heard you gloating to your demon friends."

"I lied," he said quickly. "I told them I did but I never. I went to kill her but by the time I got there she was already dead."

Sam dropped the demon in shock; not really believing his confession but at the same time he knew it was true. Letting his anger get the better of him; he killed the demon and watched as the lifeless corpse of some poor innocent fell slowly to the ground. He didn't feel any better; in fact he now felt worse.

Ruby had lied to him. She had told him it was a demon and he had chosen to believe her because that was what he had wanted. A demon could be killed, he could have had revenge. Now all that was left was a sick feeling in his stomach and the realisation it had all been in vain.

Then he remembered Dean.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Wow it's been so long since i posted a chapter, sorry. haven't really been into writing but i'm going to try and post more often now.**

**Chapter Eleven**

"I gotta admit that I sure as hell wasn't expecting it to be you," Dean said to the mysterious person on the other side of the room. He was actually quite shocked at who it was that had kidnapped his daughter. He had spent an entire afternoon with the woman talking about Emma and Shelly and not once had he expected her to do this. "But now I do know you can tell me where my daughter is."

Michelle; Emma's mother, was standing in the doorway of the room holding a knife. She looked crazy; her eyes wild and full of anger. Dean could tell she was furious at the fact he had found her. No matter how angry he felt at her he decided to keep a calm facade. He couldn't let his feelings get in the way of saving Michelle.

"How did you find me?" She asked; her voice quiet but full of rage.

"Let's just say I had a little help from on high," Dean cracked but there was no smile on his face. He still wasn't completely convinced about Castiel being an angel or that angels actually existed but now wasn't really the time to be debating that particular issue. Right now he needed to focus on getting past Michelle and finding out where she had hidden Shelly. "Pointed me in the right direction," he added to the end of the sentence. "Why did you do it?" He asked; his voice soft. He wanted to know why she had; she had seemed like such a nice woman when he had met her.

Michelle didn't speak immediately. She just stood there in silence; like she was trying to work it out for herself before she told Dean. He had the sneaking suspicion she didn't even know why she had done it. Eventually; however, she began to speak.

"I wanted her for myself," she told him but Dean just sneered.

"That's not a good enough reason. You had no right to do that. You broke into my home, you murdered and innocent woman and you stole my daughter. I am assuming right that it was you that killed Joanne."

"She got in my way and tried to stop me," Michelle tried to reason but it wasn't going to wash with Dean. He could feel the cool facade begin to slip and the anger began to rise to the surface. "I didn't mean to kill her."

"You didn't mean to kill her? How the hell can you say that? She is dead because of what you did and you can't even come up with an excuse for taking Shelly in the first place."

Michelle went silent once again; contemplating just what it was she had actually done. She had murdered a woman; she had actually done it and she hadn't felt the slightest bit of guilt at the time, even taking pleasure in what she was doing. Now; looking at the very angry man in front of her she realised what she had done had been very, very wrong. But it was too late for her, there was no going back and the only thing she could do is fight. Fight and kill him so he could never tell anyone about what she had done.

She took a step towards Dean but he immediately reacted and took a step away from her. Then she lunged towards him; the knife gripped tightly in her hands. Dean's hunting instincts kicked in immediately and he moved out of the way before she could plunge the knife into his body. He grabbed hold of her arm and tried to disarm her but she wasn't going to let him get away with it. She tore at his chest with her free hand; surprising Dean and making him fall backwards. Michelle took her chance and slid the sharp blade into his side. He cried out in pain and pushed her away from him; the knife still sticking out of his stomach. Michelle fell backwards and hit the hard wooden floor; the breath knocked out of her and she just lay there gasping.

Dean groaned as he attempted to stand up but he failed the first time. The second time he rested one of his hands on his bleeding stomach and the other on the floor before gently easing himself to his feet. He stood over Michelle; who now looked utterly terrified. All the anger had seem to seep out of her body and she was utterly spent.

"I suppose you're going to kill me now," she whispered in a defeated tone. She was completely broken now, she had lost the fight and she was going to lose Shelly. She just didn't have the energy to do it anymore. It was just better to concede defeat and face the consequences of her actions than to try to kill Dean Winchester.

"I'm not going to kill you," Dean told her as he reached into his jacket and pulled out his phone. "You deserve to die so much for what you've done but it's not my place to kill you. You're a person and there are ways of dealing with people like you so I'm not going to do anything except take my daughter and leave you to rot in a jail cell for the rest of your life."

He watched her for a moment before calling the cops. "Do you want to know something?" He asked.

"What?" She replied miserably.

"Emma would still be alive if she'd never met me. It's all my fault she's dead. She was introduced to my world the day she met me and if she hadn't then she never would have died," his voice cracked as he admitted this to her.

Dean turned away from Michelle, not wanting to appear weak after his confession. She didn't say anything as he dialled his phone and gave his location. He had intended to grab Shelly and leave before the cops arrived but he found himself collapsing to the floor; the wound in his side aching with an intense pain where the knife was still protruding from his gut. He hear the sirens blaring as he began to lose consciousness.

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A sick feeling has descended upon Sam the second he had received the phone call from Dean saying he and Shelly were in the hospital. He had been afraid of something happening to his brother ever since he had returned to the motel room and he hadn't been there. Sam had been cursing himself ever since and worrying that something bad had happened.

His worst fears had been confirmed when Dean had called and told him that he had been stabbed. He hadn't told him anything further except he had found Shelly and they had both been taken to the hospital to be looked over. Not having the Impala to drive there meant that Sam had run to the hospital. Why he hadn't called for a taxi he didn't know; maybe it was just the shock and the adrenaline that made him hurl himself out of the motel room and fly off down the street. Whatever the reason was he made it to the hospital in record time and completely out of breath.

He found Dean lying in a bed; currently sleeping and looking a little pale but at least he was alive. He sat down on the chair next to the bed and watched his brother. He looked tired. One of the main features of the hell he had been through the last few weeks. Dean had been upset over Shelly's disappearance as well as being plagued by nightmares and Sam had been no help to his brother at all. He'd been too caught up in his own quest for revenge to notice his brother was on the brink. That was all going to change now. He was going to be a better brother to Dean; he would help look after Shelly and not throw everything away on suicide missions to kill demons.

"What'cha thinkin' 'bout?" Sam heard Dean say in a slurred voice. He had woken up and was sounding very sleepy. Sam raised his head and saw his big brother lying in the bed with a goofy grin and a glazed look in his eyes.

"Nothing," Sam lied. "How're you feeling?"

"I feel great."

"Well you look like crap," Sam told him and Dean laughed. Despite the anguish he was feeling Sam laughed too.

"Still look better than you little brother," Dean whispered.

"You gonna tell me what went down?" Sam gently pushed; wanting to know exactly what happened.

"Was Emma's mom," Dean slurred, a sad and mournful look passed over his face. "Took Shelly an' killed Joanne. I'm sorry," he added to the end.

"It's not your fault," Sam reassured him.

"It is," Dean continued. "If I hadn't gone to Emma's grave I would never have met her an' she never would've gone after Shelly. Joanne would still be alive."

"It doesn't matter," Sam tried to comfort Dean and make him see that it was not his fault. "All that matter is that Shelly is safe. Have you seen her yet?" He asked.

"No," Dean shook his head. "I passed out right before the cops got there and when I woke up earlier she was being looked over. I just want to see her again," he sighed quietly. It was obvious how much he had missed her and even more obvious that he wanted to see her. Sam stood up and ran his hands through his long brown hair.

"I'll go and see someone and find out when you can see her," he watched as Dean nodded silently before he headed out of the room.

Dean was alone again and was left with his thoughts. The events of the last few weeks had really taken their toll on him and he was exhausted. His side hurt like hell and the IV in the back of his hand irritated the hell out of him. More than anything though he just had the deep, burning desire to see his daughter again. He wanted to hold her, to feel her hand grabbing on his shirt as she slept. He smiled to himself at the thought of finally being reunited with her. He closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep again to make the minutes; that were ticking by so slowly, go faster but that didn't work. They continued to drag beyond belief. It had felt like Sam had been gone for hours when in actual fact it had only been a few minutes. Dean sighed loudly and began to drum his fingers on the bed.

Sam returned shortly after, opening the door quietly just in case his brother had fallen asleep. He quickly saw that Dean was not asleep so didn't close it with such concern. "I talked to the doctor," Sam said to him.

"What did he say?"

"That you can see Shelly in a little bit; they just want to check you over first."

"I feel fine," Dean said but his facade was shattered when he winced in pain as his side began to hurt again.

"Yeah, that was convincing," Sam grinned; glad his brother was back to normal. "It won't take long and then they'll bring Shelly down."

"They'd better not," Dean pouted. He hated hospitals and Doctors. "You're getting me outta here as soon as you can."

"You're staying here until the doctors say you can leave," Sam told him. "You were stabbed."

"I hate hospitals."

"I know you do."

"And there's too much to do."

"It's nothing that can't wait," Sam said to him as the doctor entered the room. "I'll be back soon," he told his brother before leaving him to the mercy of the doctor.

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Dean would never admit it but he nearly burst out crying when Michelle was brought to his room. She had grown so much in the short time she had been gone; he was actually shocked by it. The nurse saw the look on his face and misinterpreted it.

"She's okay," the nurse told him. "She's none the worse from everything that happened."

"Can I hold her?" Dean asked, his voice thick with emotion; so much so he nearly choked on the words.

"Of course you can," she smiled and handed her over to him.

Dean pulled Shelly close to him and held her tight. She wriggled in his arms but soon settled down and gurgled happy.

"Hi there," he whispered to her. "I missed you so much," he pulled her away slightly and looked at her and how much she had changed.

She had more hair for starters; it was growing in thick and brown, just like Emma's. She smiled at him; she had barely been able to do that the last time he had seen her. His heart broke a little for the time they had been apart; a time of her life he would never know, that he had missed out on all because of that bitch and her misguided sense of family; deluded by insanity and grief.

He took hold of her tiny hand and rubbed it gently. "I'm never letting you go again, sweetie," he whispered softly. "I'm never going to let you go."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Finally updating again, will post the chapters as they are completed from now on**

**Chapter Twelve**

Dean had insisted on being discharged from hospital almost as soon as he could. The doctors had wanted to keep him in for a while longer but he had been adamant that he leave. He didn't want to be in that place any longer. He didn't want to be cooped up in that small room that smelled like disinfectant where he was kept away from his daughter for large parts of the day. Nope, he wasn't going to stay there for a moment longer than was absolutely necessary. Now he was safely back in the motel room with Sam and Michelle. Now he hoped things could start to go back to normal.

Sam watched him as he held onto Michelle tightly. He had been very clingy with his young daughter since he had got her back and Sam hadn't failed to notice. It was like he was afraid that she would disappear if he let her go even for just a second. Although Sam could understand exactly where his brother was coming from he was extremely worried for him. It wasn't exactly this healthy to be holding onto her so much, he needed to let go. Physically and emotionally.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked Dean; not really expecting a straight answer. He expected Dean to either brush him off or give some sarcastic response about Sam being a girl and dean's response didn't disappoint.

"I'm fine Sam," he replied quietly, his voice sounded tired and not at all like typical Dean. He wasn't all right and Sam knew that but Dean wasn't going to open up to him just yet.

"Okay," Sam replied. "I'm gonna go outside for a while and get some air," he explained to Dean. Dean simply nodded dumbly and went back to Michelle.

* * *

The night was cold, cold enough that Sam could see his breath condense in front of him with each breath he took. He seriously began to wish he'd grabbed his jacket before leaving the motel room; it was colder than he had expected it to be. He wrapped his arms around his chest and contemplated going back inside but then he decided against it. He didn't want to get into any more fights with Dean tonight. They were beginning to tire him out; the constant fighting and bickering with his older brother were beginning to take their toll on him. He just wished he could go back to the way they were; back to when both men were happy.

He felt her before he saw her. He couldn't pinpoint the exact moment he realised he could feel her but he felt himself tense up and her presence. The demon had lied to him, told him lies so he would listen to her. She had used him; manipulated him and it made him angry. So angry he didn't even want to look at her smug expression, didn't want to hear her inane ramblings about how it was his destiny to embrace these psychic powers and he certainly didn't want her to try to convince him otherwise. All he wanted was for her to disappear from his life forever and leave him in peace. She was the reason he was fighting with Dean, she was the reason why he felt his life was crumbling; falling apart right in front of his eyes. She had to go.

"Get out of here or I swear to God I will send you back to hell," he growled; still turned away from the blonde demon.

"You can't do that," she smirked. "You couldn't send me back to Hell if you wanted to, you haven't exactly embraced that ability."

"I still have your knife."

"That would have a certain poetry to it; own my own sword and all that but you won't do it."

"What makes you so sure?" Sam asked in a low and threatening voice. "You haven't actually done anything to make me trust you."

"I've given you every reason to trust me."

"You lied to me," Sam's voice rose as he turned to face the manipulative bitch for the first time since she had arrived. "You told me it was a demon. You told me a demon killed Joanne. You said I had to stop it but I didn't. It wasn't a demon. It was a human. It was a woman who did this. You used me."

"So what if I did," Ruby told him as she rolled her eyes. She didn't understand where he was coming from. She thought she had been doing him a favour; teaching him to control his powers. Who cared if she had a little bit of a selfish motive like wanting some demonic bitch dead? "The only reason why you're complaining is because you enjoyed it a little bit too much. You should admit it to yourself. You liked the way it felt going after those demons. You liked the control you had."

"I did not enjoy it," Sam tried to protest but Ruby wouldn't listen.

"Yes you did but you're too afraid to admit it. Who gives a damn who killed your precious little girlfriend, there are bigger problems in this world like the fact that it could end."

"And let me guess, you're trying to help me out of the goodness of your demon heart?"

"I have my reasons but believe me you don't want to see what's gonna happen if you don't get off your ass and start using those demon-given gifts of yours."

"You're not really convincing me to listen to you," Sam snorted; thoroughly fed up with the demon's presence.

"If you don't then Lucifer walks free," Ruby told him.

"What?" Sam asked; thrown for a moment by what she was saying.

"There's a demon called Lilith. Long story short she's trying to free Lucifer which; for all of us here too stupid to use their talents, means the end of the world and Hell on Earth."

"And what if I don't believe you?"

"Then you'll burn alongside all the other moronic humans," Ruby huffed. "Call me when you start to see sense," she said as she brushed past him and walked away. After a second she seemingly disappeared into thin air leaving a confused and angry Sam stood outside in the cold night.

* * *

Sam returned inside the room shortly after Ruby had left; taking the time to calm down first because he really felt like he could kill a person the way she had made him feel. He wondered if what she had said had been the truth. Demons did lie after all but why would anyone lie about something like that? He tried to push it to the back of his mind; it gave him a headache to think about it too much but it was no use.

He also felt guilty. Guilty that he had gone behind Dean's back and had trusted a demon; even if it was only for a moment. He had betrayed his brother; he had betrayed his father and he had betrayed everything he had been fighting for his whole life. He felt like crying. He felt like screaming but none of that would be of any use at the moment. Right now all he needed to do was make things right with Dean. And that meant telling him the truth.

"Dean," Sam said gently to gain his brother's attention. Dean had been lying on one of the beds with an arm draped over his eyes. Sam had thought he was asleep but he wasn't. Dean lifted his head as soon as he heard his name being called.

"Sam," Dean said as he rolled off the bed; groaning slightly at the pull in his side. "That was a bad idea," he grimaced.

"How's Shelly?"

"She's good; she just fell asleep," Dean explained. "What is it?" Dean asked; realising there was something wrong. Something had been wrong between them for a while he had noticed. The fights, the arguing, the complete and total lack of communication between them and Dean just wanted it to end. Like Sam, he just wanted his brother back.

"There's something I have to tell you," Sam said to him; his voice quiet and sad. "I don't want you to say anything until I've finished because this is going to be hard enough to say without you interrupting. You promise?"

"I promise," Dean nodded.

"Thank you," Sam paused before continuing. "I did something really stupid. I've done something so far beyond stupid. I listened to a demon," Sam saw the shocked look on Dean's face but his brother stayed true to his word and didn't say anything. "I let her manipulate me into doing what she wanted. Instead of helping you find Shelly I let this demon convince me that I needed to hunt down these demons. She told me to use my psychic powers and I didn't question her. But she lied to me and now everything is so screwed up. I was so driven by my need for revenge that I completely shut you out. I'm sorry."

Dean didn't utter a word once Sam had finished speaking; he just stood there taking it all in. He stood there for several minutes not speaking and it nearly killed Sam. He just wished his brother would speak.

"You trusted a demon?" He said eventually; keeping his voice as neutral as he could despite the immense anger he was feeling. "You trusted a demon?" He asked again, louder this time.

"Yes," Sam said; his voice full of shame. "I was wrong and I shouldn't have."

"You're damn right you shouldn't have. You don't trust demons; you should know that; they always lie."

"I know."

"And yet you still did it! You went out there with a demon. You only heard what you wanted to hear. She held an apple out in front of you and you bit her hand off. You say she manipulated you but there had to be something there for her to do that."

"I just wanted revenge."

"You could have been killed. Anything could have happened. It could have been a trap because she is a demon unless that hasn't been mentioned previously. You need to start being more careful Sammy, because there are things out there that want you dead. If you keep on what you're doing then you're gonna die and I'm not gonna sit around and watch that happen."

"I'm not gonna do it anymore," Sam reassured him. "It's over; I told Ruby that."

"Good," Dean sighed and sat back down on the bed. "Good," the relief in his voice was evident and it made Sam feel more than a little uncomfortable. Sitting down opposite his brother he decided to change the subject.

"So you met an angel?" He asked; curious about the man Dean had been talking about earlier.

"Apparently so," Dean replied; it was evident that he still wasn't quite sure about the guy. "An angel called Castiel who wants us to stop Lucifer from rising from Hell."

"You don't think he's telling the truth?" Sam asked, remembering what Ruby had said to him earlier about Lucifer. This had to be bad if the angels were getting involved.

"I dunno," Dean sighed again. "I don't believe in angels so finding out they're real is a bit surreal."

"I think it's kinda cool. Maybe once we've actually got someone on our side."

"I hope so," Dean murmured to himself before standing up to check on Michelle. "I'm just not gonna get my hopes up just yet."

"Maybe you should have a little faith."

"That's what he said."

* * *

Ruby wasn't too upset that Sam had rejected her; it was only a temporary setback until he realised that what she was saying to him made perfect sense. He would soon know that she was trying to do what was best for him and his powers.

She made her way into the darkened house and walked through the rooms until she found the person she was looking for.

"How did it go?" The woman asked; her identity shrouded by the darkness.

"He found out I was lying about the demon so he told me to leave him alone."

"Never mind, he'll come around soon enough," the woman smiled and walked towards the window. Her face was illuminated in the pale moonlight; which just exposed her facial features to Ruby.

She was a pretty woman, about mid height; her long brown hair curled around her shoulders and her eyes were big and brown. If Ruby had known who she was she would have smiled at the irony of the situation.

The woman was Emma.

* * *

**A little cliffhanger for you all there. All will be revealed... when I've finished the next chapter**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: it's far too long since I updated. I'm in a big fic writing mood atm so hopefully I'll get some more writte**

**Chapter Thirteen**

"So why the corpse?" Ruby asked; leaning against the doorframe, "didn't think you would go for the dead girl look."

"It's fun to recycle," the demon joked. "Besides it will be funny when Dean Winchester finds out that his daughter's mother's body is being used to house a demon."

"So that's the only reason?"

"And I need to keep it away from the angels. If they got their hands on it then that would be... unfortunate."

"Wouldn't want it getting into the wrong hands," Ruby smirked."

"Exactly."

"Things really aren't going to plan are they?" Ruby said as she sauntered across the room and sat down in the chair.

"Not at the moment, but it will do eventually. This has been pre-destined to happen for millennia. Sam Winchester has been intrinsically linked in this from the moment his mother made that silly little deal of hers. The plan is set in motion; all we need is for it all to come together."

"And what if it doesn't?" Ruby asked, sounding sceptical at what she had been saying.

"It will," the woman replied; her voice sounding light and childlike. "You just have to have a little bit of faith."

"I think we should send her sorry ass back to hell," Dean said to Sam; the earlier understanding of Sam's situation had completely disappeared and now all Dean could think about was sending the demon bitch back to hell.

"Why?" Sam asked in response. He didn't really see the point of sending her back to hell. They did have bigger things to worry about after all and Sam didn't see her as much of a threat. "She hasn't done anything to make us do that."

"She manipulated you. She lied to you. She tried to turn you evil. I think they are three very good reasons to send her ass back to hell."

"But why did she do it? She must have a reason for acting the way she did."

"She's a demon, that's the only motivation she needs. Lying and deceit are in her nature Sam."

"I get that I do but..."

"Do you get it?" Dean interrupted. "Really? Because I don't think you do. You're trying to give a demon the benefit of the doubt. A demon who lied to you and told you a demon killed the woman you loved. I don't think she's the kind of person to be listening to and taking life lessons from. I don't give a damn about what she wants or why she wants it, I just want her gone because whatever it is can't be good."

"I guess so," Sam replied quietly thinking about what Dean was saying. He was right; of course he was right; especially when it came to demons. She couldn't be trusted and she had proved that on more than one occasion. She had told him how to find Joanne's killer; playing on his grief and need for revenge but she had lied about that. A demon hadn't killed her; a regular crazy woman had done that and now Sam was still left with an empty hole inside himself. "I just wanted to believe so bad."

"I know you did," Dean said as he sat down on the bed next to his younger brother. "But you just gotta let it go. We don't need any more of this in our lives. You need to put all of this mess behind you and concentrate on helping me look after Shelly," Dean grinned and Sam rolled his eyes.

"Is that all I'm good for?"

"Hell yes."

"Fine," Sam pretended to pout. "So what do we do now?"

"We try and work on getting things back to normal."

"What about the angels and Lilith?" Sam had bog concerns about this. If Lilith was as bad as everybody seemed to think she was then they would have one hell of a fight in front of them.

"We'll jump off that bridge when we come to it. I just wanna put my daughter first. I don't want to lose her again. I can't lose her again." Dean wasn't too concerned about everything at the moment. He wished he could push everything under the carpet and hide away from this very obvious problem.

"Then we'll do that," Sam told him as he stood up. "I'm hungry. I think I'm gonna go grab something to eat. Do you want anything?"

"Sure; get me anything. And pie. Get me some pie."

"Fine I'll get you some pie," Sam grinned as he grabbed his jacket. "Because God knows you can't live without pie,"

"Don't mock, just buy," Dean said as he threw a pillow at his exiting brother. As the door closed Dean slowly stood up and picked the pillow back up; throwing it on the bed.

He then moved across the room towards Michelle's crib and he stared at his sleeping daughter. She looked so peaceful and completely unaware of everything that had happened to her over the last few weeks. Dean was grateful that she would never remember any of this; even though it would be burned into his memory for the rest of his life.

"Hey there little girl," he whispered softly and gently stroked the top of her head. She stirred slightly but she didn't wake; she just lay looking content. Dean smiled and continued to watch his daughter until he became aware that he was no longer alone in the room. He visibly tensed up and prepared to attack. "You know it isn't a good idea to sneak up on a hunter. You never know what I might do to you," Dean didn't turn to face the man behind him; he just faced his daughter and his body was hidden in the shadows.

"You cannot harm me," Castiel informed him.

Dean smirked, "Can always try though. What do you want?"

"I see you found your daughter."

"Very perceptive of you," Dean retorted sarcastically. "Now what d'ya want? Because I don't think it's to admire my daughter."

"I came to talk to you."

"Let me guess, it's about all those demons you were talking about the other day," Dean turned around to face Castiel and grunted at the pain in his side that moving caused.

"You're injured."

"Thanks for pointing out the god damned obvious," Dean said with a little more anger than he had intended. It wasn't the Angel's fault he didn't know what happened but he was really beginning to get on his nerves. Dean thought it was his attitude; assuming that Dean would do whatever he told him to like God's good little lap dog. Dean hated the assumption. "Just tell me what you want," Dean said wearily and sat down on the edge of the bed; clutching his side to try to ease the pain.

"Lilith is moving forwards with her plan to raise Lucifer."

"Why should I care?"

"Because if she succeeds then it would mean the complete destruction of all life on earth."

"So, not the happy apocalypse then?" Dean asked in jest but Castiel just gave him a confused look. "Never mind."

"This is no time to be joking."

"But why do you want me to do it? I'm not special. I'm just a guy; I can't do this so why don't you just leave me alone?"

"You can do this Dean, you MUST do this."

"You still haven't told me why you want me to save the world. You give me some spiel about Lilith wanting Shelly and about how my brother is wither gonna be evil or dead but you haven't actually told me why I have to do this."

"They aren't reason enough to do this?" Castiel asked; although he already knew the answer to his own question. Dean would do anything for his family, especially when they were in danger.

"Of course they are but I just want to be left alone. I don't want to do this. I don't want to be God's bitch."

"Dean, this is the most important thing that you will ever do," Castiel told him; his voice remaining calm and even. "Not only will you be saving your family you will also be saving the world. The impending war will wipe out all human life if it is allowed to continue without your intervention. Heaven's army is already depleted from the fighting and only you can help."

"Then why don't you get Sam to do it? He believes in all of this religious crap."

"Sam is on the peripheral of good and evil. He could go either way and we don't want him on the side of evil. Azazel had a plan for him but he concealed it from us so we don't know what it is. You have to keep Sam right and stop him from heading down the wrong path. You have to stop him. Or we will.

Dean could only sit and stare in horror at what the angel had just told him.


End file.
